Monday, November 15, 2010

Frustrated Incorporated.

Hey kids, Brian here. The ol' blog has kind of gone by the wayside as of late -- we have/had plans to expand this blog into a full-blown news site of our very own, but life has gotten in the way and it's not off the ground yet. But I have a little wrestling-related frustration to vent about, and with nowhere else to really put it, I figured I'd throw it here.

My problem, once again, is with WWE. And before we start, I'm just as frustrated at TNA these days, so it's not my TNA-bias at work. What it is, is an upcoming main event that's left me baffled. Next week, at one of the big 4 PPVs of the year, the company's biggest star is going to be the referee. Okay, I suppose I could live with that, he's still involved in the main event. But let's dissect this Barrett - Cena - Orton thing, shall we?

John Cena lost to Barrett, and was forced to join Nexus. Check. As a part of "being a member of Nexus," Cena has to do Barrett's bidding. A little bit of a stretch, as the others aren't nearly as subservient to him, but okay, check. Now Barrett has a title shot against Randy Orton, and Cena will be his referee. I don't know who gave Barrett the authority to name his own referees, but... okay, I'll bite. Check. Now, if Cena doesn't make 100% sure that Barrett leaves that match with the title, Cena will be guilty of "not following orders," which means he's not living up to his end of the deal as a member of Nexus, and he'll be subsequently fired.

HOLD UP.

Last time I checked, Wade Barrett was not the anonymous GM. Where in the blue hell did Barrett get the authority to not only name his own personal referee for a title match, but declare right out in front of God and everybody that that referee has to cheat for him? Why, in any realm of existence, would the GM stand idly by and watch something like "you will cheat for me, or you will be fired" and act like it's okay?

Furthermore -- in what realm of existence would John Cena have ANY reason to feel bad about screwing Randy Orton? Do we forget that Orton's the one who punted Cena Sr. in the SKULL? Tried to out-and-out MURDER his father?



Yes, yes we do.


So John Cena is supposed to choose between (A) cheating to help get the title from one person he's never gotten along with onto another, which will let him keep his job AND be free of his shackles with Nexus AND more than likely set up a Cena-Barrett title match sooner than later, or (B) uphold the honor and integrity of the WWE Title by sacrificing his entire career to keep it out of Barrett's hands (for now). And they're basing an entire Big 4 Pay-Per-View Main Event on this shit?

So in one company, you get this, and in another, you get another tired retread of the NWO, with Jeff Hardy carrying around a new belt that looks even worse than the Divas Title. Man, being a wrestling fan SUCKS right now.

- Brian

PS -- concerning "Old School Raw" tonight. WHY TONIGHT?! Tonight is the go-home show for said PPV. Putting this "old school Raw" on tonight means that one of two things is going to happen. One, an idea which COULD be completely and totally magical and emotional and flat-out awesome on so many levels will be compromised by sharing time with the storylines that lead into this PPV. Or two, the go-home show for the PPV will have nothing to do with the PPV. Couldn't they have found another night far away from PPV hype that could have been used to put on this show totally free from the normal canon? Le sigh. Old School Raw will either be really special, or really stupid. And basing it on the last couple years of WWE programming, I'm leaning towards the latter.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Snitsky in a Clown Costume.



There's no news to be had here. It's just Gene Snitsky in a clown costume, courtesy of his twitter account.

You're welcome! :D

Friday, May 28, 2010

R-Truth Keeps His Pimp Hand STRONG.





During last week's Over The Limit pay-per-view, Ted DiBiase suffered a concussion.

When R-Truth slapped him across the face.

According to people who claim to know what they're talking about, DiBiase was slated to blame Virgil for his loss that night, but because of Ron's Pimp Hand Of Steel and Ted's concussed brain, they "called an audible." We can expect to see Ted kept out of the ring for a few weeks for his head to recover.



COLD-BLOODED.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Cuttin' Their Losses


Yep, I posted it.

It appears as if Dixie Carter will be practicing her Vince McMahon voice within the coming weeks. TNA is rumored to be preparing to release upwards of 15 - 20 superstars as part of a large cost cutting initiative. This news comes off the heels of TNA's decision to move back to Thursday nights.

In a radio interview on Monday, Jeremy Borash spoke about the rumored initiative. He had this to say when asked about the roster cuts.

"I don't know if you look at it as roster cuts. You don't say anything or we don't hear anything about when we spend more money to hire people. When you say 'roster cuts,' it obviously invokes an 'oooh' kind of feeling to it," Borash said. "At the same time, we have 60-something people under contract, so I think it's a natural evolution of business. Sometimes you do have to trim the fat. The programs are being written differently where less people are being featured more prominently."

I've heard better spin doctoring from Miss Cleo.

Hulk Hogan has a documented distaste for lighter competitors, so it would be assumed that a large portion of the X-Division is in danger of losing their jobs. One can only hope that those who have tenure in the company can weather this latest storm.

Monday, May 24, 2010

STUPID, STUPID... STUPID!



RKOwned.


During last night's "Rated RKO Explodes" edition of WWE Over The Limit, Randy Orton dislocated his right shoulder... by punching the mat.

Okay, so it's likely that it was hurt earlier in the match and pounding the mat just exacerbated the problem (and it's also likely that I just went out of my way to use the word "exacerbated"), but still. That's almost on the level of Vince tearing his quad walking to the ring at the Rumble 05.

Okay, but for real? Randy Orton is amazing. When he was in Evolution, I thought of him as nothing more than a big cocky frat boy and I wanted him to disappear. When he finally shaved his head, got some tattoo sleeves, and started getting all crazy, it was a 180ยบ turnaround and I've been on board ever since. I'm glad that it was "only" a separated shoulder, as that seems to be a relatively minor injury -- but let's hope that's all it is, and Randy can get back to kicking people in the skull and being awesome before we realize he was gone.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Michael Benoit Trashes Linda's Senate Campaign





The Hartford Courant has today published this article written by Michael Benoit, father of the late Chris Benoit, arguing against Linda McMahon's bid for one of Connecticut's U.S. Senate seats. In the article, Benoit claims, quite simply, that nobody should support McMahon's campaign because of what happened to his son, and the way she's using what amounts to blood money to support her campaign. Today, I'd like to do a point-counterpoint on Mr. Benoit's concerns.

Watching from afar, I've observed with interest the U.S. Senate campaign in Connecticut because of my experiences with Linda McMahon and her business, World Wrestling Entertainment. While she spends millions of dollars earned through her professional wrestling empire to flood Connecticut's airwaves and mailboxes promoting her Republican candidacy, state voters should know there is another side to McMahon and the WWE.

My son, Chris Benoit, 40, was one of WWE's top superstars. In June 2007, our lives changed dramatically, when he tragically killed his wife, son and himself. The press jumped on steroids as the cause of his actions. But tests showed that brain damage in the form of Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy, or CTE, not steroids, was responsible for our loss. CTE, caused by repetitive trauma to the brain, can bring on serious disorders such as a loss of emotional control, addictions to drugs and alcohol, depression, aggressive and violent behavior.

Firstly, let's not get it twisted. Christopher Michael Benoit, the man, the human being, did not kill himself and his family. Chris Benoit, the mentally-ill-from-amityville brain damaged humanoid monster was the killer. This is not to excuse what happened, it's just my own firm belief that were it not for his state of mind / brain damage / mental illness, Chris Benoit, in his right mind, would have never done what he did. I also believe that had he still had Eddie Guerrero in his life, he would have remained more balanced.

Most people view wrestling as fake and the McMahon family pushed that theory to avoid regulation. But in its lust for higher ratings and dollars, WWE began demanding that performers use more weapons and dangerous stunts in wrestling matches. Although matches are rigged and scripted, the harsh physical abuse in the form of blunt force steel chair shots to the head and power bombs through tables onto cement floors are real. I believe that this change in the industry is responsible for the majority of deaths it experienced in the last 20 years.

Another WWE wrestler, Andrew Martin, was 33 when he died. What did Andrew Martin have in common with my son? He was one of many of McMahon's former wrestlers who died prematurely, and he was the second wrestler to have his brain examined for signs of CTE after death. Martin had the same shocking brain damage as my son. The human skull is not designed to withstand and protect the brain from the abuse the McMahon's insisted their wrestlers endure. Yet, since the late '80s, these are the matches into which the McMahon's have pushed their talent.

Again, let's not get it twisted -- nobody held a gun to these men's heads. They were there of their own volition, in their OWN quest for money and fame and notoriety, taking risks and doing things that any half-educated idiot could tell were dangerous. And hurt. ALSO, let's not forget that Chris probably did his swandive headbutt finisher thousands of times in WCW and ECW, in the latter of which he participated in far more gruesome and harrowing matches than WWF/E ever allowed even at their peak of "Attitude."

USA Today in 2004 published research stating that wrestlers are 20 times more likely to die before the age of 45 than are pro football players. What has the McMahon family done to make pro wrestling safer? They will spend up to $50 million to get Linda elected to a position where she could head off any effort to regulate their business.

The WWE and Linda McMahon evade any responsibility for the early deaths that their industry suffers at an astronomical rate. After the Martin tests were completed, I sought to educate the McMahons about the scientific findings on brain trauma and how their wrestling stunts could cause this serious and fatal health issue. They were having none of it. It was clear, the McMahons were more interested in making hundreds of millions of dollars at the expense of these wrestlers, whom they regard as little more than circus animals to be ridden until their value expires.

Which is exactly why they do things like offer to foot the entire bill for any current or former employee who needs rehab for chemical/substance abuse, eh? Or why they've gone back to the PG rating, banned chairshots to the head, even banned bleeding which is a longtime staple of professional wrestling?

On CNN in 2007, Vince McMahon, Linda's husband, said they had stopped wrestlers from smashing each other's heads with chairs. That practice, however, was not ended until January of this year — scores of "head shots" later. There are still all sorts of weapons and stunts that the McMahons use to equally dangerous effect. For a sport that is "fake," there is an all too disturbing reality.

A reality that every grown-ass man on that roster knows about before they walk in and accept the paycheck. I'm not saying it's not dangerous. I'm just saying these men (and women) know what they're getting into, and choose to live the lifestyle.

You might say that these young wrestlers make their own choices, and that is true. And the McMahons entice them with prospects for fame, wealth and glory that few achieve. If this were any other business or sport, there would be congressional hearings and laws passed to reform this dirty and dangerous enterprise. The McMahons have steadfastly held that wrestlers are just independent contractors and not entitled to health care benefits, pensions or unionization to represent their best interests.

I will grant you that one. I don't really believe in the "independent contractor" thing, especially since these guys sign contracts to perform exclusively with WWE. But at the same time, can you imagine the cost of health care for these guys? The premiums alone would be incredible. And I don't see anybody in that billion dollar industry tearing a quad and NOT going to the best sports surgeon in the world, Dr. James Andrews. Vince knows how to take care of his talent.

This is how Linda McMahon made the money she uses for her Senate race. This is how she ran her business. This is the true character behind the fancy, Hollywood advertisements. I pray the people of Connecticut do not allow her to buy her way into the world's most distinguished legislative body.

I'm not even going to touch how the "world's most distinguished legislative body" has been mired by scores of sex scandals, fraud, and general ridiculousness. Am I completely wrong, or aren't there limits on the amount of personal money one can use in a campaign? I don't believe Linda's "buying" her way into anything - no matter how much money she has, she still has to get people to vote for her. Donald Trump has billions, but he's batshit crazy and so is anyone who would vote him into anything.


Look, Mr. Benoit, I understand that you're frustrated about what happened to your son, and looking for answers. I know that it's easy to point to the McMahons as enablers to the lifestyle that your son participated in and that ultimately led to his murder-suicide tragedy. But Chris has to be responsible for Chris. Whether he was in his right mind or not, he's the one who chose to do what he did. And he's the one who chose his lifestyle, and continued to choose to do it until his brain became as damaged as it was. I, too, am sad at the incredible death rate of those who participate in the professional wrestling industry, but I don't blame the promoters or the owners of the companies for their deaths. Nobody's sitting them down shoving pills down their throats or telling them they can't walk away from the business. Look at Dwayne Johnson, who parlayed his monumental success as "The Rock" into a semi-lucrative movie career. Look at Matt Striker, who stuck with the business in an on-screen announcer role rather than withstand the physical toils of the ring. Look at John Cena who, hate his character as I may, works a safe style and takes care of himself and his opponents. I don't know much about Linda's campaign and/or what platform she's running on, but if you want to tear her down for that, fine. But don't label her as evil because your son couldn't handle the business.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Call off the Oscar race... NOW.



Not Pictured: Dramatic David Caruso Shades Removal Scene


OMG. OMG OMG OMG. Check out this trailer and how incredibly craptastic this movie looks! Sheriff Angle pursuing Zombie Nash and Zombie Sid? On what looks to be a Blair Witch budget? We may have just found the single worst wrestlers-in-a-movie ever.



(If embed doesn't work, go here.)

Is it wrong of me to be so geeked out about such a potentially horrendous movie?