2002 Called. Stop Stealing its Stories.

After a string of comments about TNA by Vincent K. McMahon, who called their product "tawdry and blood-soaked action", Eric Bischoff logged on to his Facebook account and fired back a salvo at the WWE Chairman.

"So according to reports, Vince McMahon, the guy who wanted to watch his son-in-law perform a sex act on a dead body, asked me to make out with his wife AND daughter, owns a boat called "Sexy Bitch" and wanted me to promote "Hot Lesbian Action" on his show considers TNA "tawdry"..come on Vince, you are a lot of things (and many that I admire) but don't be a hypocrite."

Forgive me if I'm mistaken Eric, but aren't all of those things about storylines and events that occurred over 8 years ago, looooooong before WWE had its format change? Harp on the past much? Now, I'm not saying that I love the WWE's current PG-rated product. If I could take WWE's talent and storylines and combine them with TNA's "tawdry and blood-soaked action", I would have the perfect wrestling product. What Bischoff doesn't get is that if he wants to make a valid point about the WWE, it's that Vince has turned what used to be a quality sports entertainment show and turned it into Barney the Dinosaur in Wrestling Tights. What Vince McMahon doesn't get is that if TNA had solid booking, continuity in their storylines, and younger talent in the spotlight, they would take the Ratings ball and run away with it. Heaven help the WWE if Dixie Carter ever figures that one out...

Potential Spoilers about Bret Hart's WWE Storyline

So we've dusted off Bret Hart. I'm trying to be okay with this, but with every other story being "Stroke Stricken" Bret Hart can't do this, and "Hop Along" Hogan can't do that. You know, I'm sort of over it.

Bret Hart contacted WWE in February of 2009. Turns out his girlfriend is going to school in Calgary, and he's moving back to Canada from Hawaii - now that he's based out of Canada, he wanted to return to the ring. He's bored of retirement. Which begs the question...

Ewwww...how old is his girlfriend?

Apparently, WWE was uninterested at first, but got serious about a Wrestlemania angle in September. Here's the Spoilers, as reported by LordsofPain.net:

There is a storyline in place through WrestleMania between Hart and Vince McMahon with hope for some sort of street fight or at least a showdown between the two at WrestleMania. Due to concussions from the past and his stroke in 2002, Hart is very limited to what he can do in the ring. He can't take a traditional flat back bump. Obviously challenges like these could affect what happens between Bret and Vince. The original script for the RAW angle a few weeks back was for Vince to slap Bret in the face. Because of the concussion issue, they changed it to a kick in the stomach. It actually ended up being a kick to the groin from Vince, a miscue that Bret felt made the segment better.

Both Bret and WWE have laid out the basic details of the storyline and agreed on them. Each side has veto power regarding minor details. Hart is scheduled to return at next week's RAW and is scheduled to be a regular on RAW through February. Bret's contract with WWE is for through April and is only for this storyline. Bret is said to be open to ideas if WWE is interested in using him past that point and is open to signing a longer contract. If no contract would be offered, he is still open to appearing on the occasional show for the next few years while he's mostly based out of Calgary.

Other sources report that revealing Bret's stroke from 2002 in the storyline has been talked about. Apparently it will be a significant part of the angle at some point. Bret's concussion issue is less likely to be brought up because it's such a sensitive issue right now.

There are also reports that on the plane trip from Hawaii to RAW, Bret's sciatic nerve in his lower back was acting up badly, causing concern that he would be limping to the ring. Bret rested after the trip and was pain free by the time RAW came on Monday night.

Let's just pull Andre the Giant out of his coffin and prop him up in the corner. Product is so stale, no one will even notice.

That'll Show 'Em!

Vince McMahon is apparently really good at pretending. (Nah, really?) He was said to have no-sold the appearance of former Smackdown golden boy Jeff Hardy on competitor TNA for the Monday Night live broadcast, but the all knowing "WWE insiders" say that Vince was privately seething. Jeff was promptly removed from the opening promo package. Yeah, that's right! That'll show 'em! Maybe now we won't be subjected to anymore Hogan clips either. Isn't the real winner here Jeff Hardy? I mean, honestly, having your likeness removed from a promo package that looks like it was created by a 10 year old - sounds pretty win to me.

Shannon Moore has nothing to do with this post. Any excuse to post a picture of Shannon Moore. Yeah.

Okay, So I Guess This is Cool...

Vince McMahon will induct Stone Cold Steve Austin into the WWE Hall of Fame on Saturday Night, making this the first time since the WWE brought the show back in 2004 that Vince McMahon has appeared on camera. I guess that's pretty cool.

Vince to his writers: "Shuddupayoface!"

Vince McMahon was said to have been irate at his writing staff over the fact that plans for his "illegitimate child" storyline were leaked over the internet. Because, yeah, nobody was caught off-guard by this Hornswaggle debacle, right? And not like "Things are looking up" didn't completely give away that it had to be him or Khali.

Anyway, Vince and Steph both gave the creative team a big lecture about letting things out to the internet reporters -- which is a fantastic career move in and of itself, dontcha think? Vince was so paranoid about people finding out about the Little Bastard of a storyline that he flew in every prospective wrestler from both brands for Raw so that nobody could be ruled out by process of elimination. Because a 5-week storyline with a too-weak payoff was really THAT important, right?

Hmm. I wonder how Vince feels about the story of him being angry over stories being leaked to the internet, being leaked to the internet itself? Ahh, the conundrums of life!