Vince McMahon is a Bang-Up Guy.

Kurt Angle was on Opie & Anthony yesterday, and one of the topics, of course, was steroids and his pain-killer history. According to Kurt, Vince McMahon told him to "fix it while he was on the road." This is a guy who was taking upwards of SIXTY-FIVE PILLS A DAY (twenty just to get out of bed!). Fix it while he's on the road. Thanks, Vince.

In other news, Vince was recently interviewed by the Hollywood Reporter (sounds like a bad, bad tabloid), and was asked about TNA. He said, "My concern with TNA is that they are TV-14, and we are PG. They have to change with the times. I think some of the things they do on television are reprehensible, but it is a TV-14 rating. That's the only bone I have to pick with them."

This from a guy who just 2 weeks ago had Triple H bust into Orton's house and chase him around with a sledgehammer trying to physically kill him. Who just had Orton kiss an unconscious Stephanie with Hunter handcuffed just inches away.

And besides, who died and made Vince McMahon the God of all things pro wrestling sports entertainment? Just because you decided to puss out and move away from the Attitude era stuff (which got you the major wrestling boom, by the way) doesn't mean everyone else has to. Shame on you, Vince.

We're Going to Be Seeing a Lot More Of This...

WWE announced over the weekend on their syndicated "Experience" show that Stephanie McMahon will be returning to RAW as a regular character starting tonight.

Sorry the tiny gif was all I had!! :p

RhaKurt

According to several people within the company, TNA Knockout Rhaka Khan is not well liked backstage and said to have a really bad attitude. The former WWE developmental wrestler doesn't want to train to improve in the ring and carries herself like she's a huge star, which rubs a number of people the wrong way. Since she's dating Kurt Angle, however, no one says anything to her face as her beau has a lot of political stroke in the company. Khan is in a secure spot since TNA isn't going to release her due to her relationship with the company's top star.

In other news: Rhaka Khan is dating Kurt Angle? Kurt Angle dumped KAREN for THIS?! Are you... this isn't even understandable in any way, shape or form.

In Just 365 Days...

Batista apparently went to the Philippines on a medis blitz. For what reason I'm not sure. They asked him how much longer he planned on wrestling, to which he responded that he thought he had about a year left and wanted to finish it out strong. Some tips for that, don't get yourself injured and do something to make yourself remotely interesting. From where I'm sitting, one year can't come soon enough.

So What If It's Fake with Matt Bentley

Our partner site and weekly radio show "So What If It's Fake" featured an interview with Matt Bentley last night. The archive is available as a podcast or directly from the website at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/sowhatifitsfake Tune in every week for the latest wrestling news and rumors and more great interviews.

This week Matt Bentley discusses his relationship with Shawn Michaels, how he felt about his tryout match with Vladimir Kozlov and his new band Lost in Chaos.

Chyna! Chyna! Chyna!

This bitch is back. We mean that lovingly! According to Chyna's unofficial (yet very reliable) fan site Chyna has a lot of exciting projects coming up. To quote alivingwonder.com "Chyna will reportedly be on the cover of an upcoming summer issue of VANITY FAIR shot by famous photographer David Lachapelle."

The site goes on to explain a new book that the artist formerly known as Joanie Laurer is working on. "More details on Chyna's upcoming book have been released, The book will be called, Paper Doll containing fashion photos and short stories by Chyna and her stylist/photographer Emilio O."

This woman has had such a trying time for the better part of 7 years. I'm not even going to say anything snarky today. Good for her.

(The above photo is copyrighted to Chyna/9th Wonder Inc. & Emilio O.)

Like Father, Like Son

Reid Flair, the son of the legendary Ric Flair, and reported WWE Development Wrestler was arrested on March 4 for driving while impaired. He posted $1000 bail and was released. Expect Ric Flair to make more appearances with WWE to cover his son's legal bills.

Tammy "Sunny" Sytch to Appear at WM25

The artist formally known as Sunny is set to appear at WM25. In a recent interview she hinted at a full time return to the WWE and being apprehensive about it. In the same interview she said that she's 36 years old and people often mistake her for a 28 year old. So clearly she was just full of filthy lies in this interview.

RIP

I think it's too soon for my usual rude comments about people.

RIP Test. Thanks for giving your life to a sport that you loved.

As If Anyone Cared...

Brock Lesnar wants everyone to know his wife Sable won't be at Wrestlemania because she's knocked out. Congratulations to everyone who won't have to be subjected to Sable on their TV screens.

*Edited 10 hours later - Knocked up. She's knocked up. Although where Lesnar is concerned I can see where domestic violence might have been questioned.

Remember when this was supposed to happen?

Remember when this poster was circulating the internets and everyone got all excited, only to find it was a fake? Well, the match (or a version of it) is finally scheduled to take place, and WWE wants to shut it down.

Great Lakes Championship Wrestling out of Waukesha, WI, is promoting a match this Saturday, March 21, where Scott Hall and Kevin Nash, formerly of the NWO, take on BG and Kip James, formerly known as Road Dogg and Billy Gunn of DX fame. WWE has sent these people a cease and desist letter, claiming that the company is promoting the event as an official WWE event. Promoter Dave Herro says this is not the case, and the show will go on as scheduled.

Aptly named. Herro is my new hero!

A-Happy Birthday!

Saturday was Santino Marella's birthday. He turned 30. I also turn 30 this year.

Santino travels the world to be a prop for one of the manliest (yet, somehow, prettiest) women's wrestlers in history, and once in a while to do a job, while I sit at home in my comfortable bed writing about him. I think we all know who's doing better with their life. :)

Somebody's going to be in the doghouse...

In a recent interview with the Boston Herald, John Cena said he was set to marry his high school sweetheart in July. However, in an appearance on "Despierta America" on Univision last Tuesday, he apparently made it clear to the females in the audience that he's still single and looking.

Let's see... monster push? Check. Crappy movie career? Check. Beloved by women and children? Check. Changing stories from interview to interview? Check.... it's true! He IS the next Hogan!

Too much JBL for one week...

There's been way too much JBL on here recently for my liking, but it seems that won't last too much longer. Dave Melzer is reporting that JBL has been telling people he's going to retire soon. Apparently his back is bothering him. Probably from carrying that monstrous gut around.

And the most hype for the littlest payoff award goes too...

WWE future endeavored Kizarny today. Surprise. Surprise.

Sonjay Dutt says Everyone Wants to be in WWE

...In other breaking news, the sky is blue! Dutt, who recently left TNA, had this to say:

"Any professional wrestler - ask everybody in TNA no matter where you are - they're going to want to be in WWE. That's the top; that's the best. Every professional wrestler deep down in their heart wants to be in WWE."

That's like saying all players in the AFL want to be stars in the NFL...it doesn't exactly take a genius to figure out! He goes on to say something about TNA having an easy schedule and the WWE schedule being crazy and hectic... basically he calls TNA the easy option, better suited to guys who have already done the crazy road life and want to kick back a little.

OH! So that's why everyone in the TNA main event scene is over 40. Now it all makes sense! Lazy motherfuckers should just go sell cars or something. Let the Motorcity Machine Guns, Beer Money, AJ Styles and guys like that do the wrestling.

Don't upset the Kong!

Does this look like the kinda chick you want on your bad side? Nope...didn't think so, but apparently TNA aren't as intimidated by her as most normal human beings. PW Torch is reporting that TNA Knockout Awesome Kong is upset with her TNA contract. Apparently she gets paid even less than newcomer Brutus Magnus... yeah, that gladiator guy who can't talk or wrestle for shit makes more money than the center point of the TNA Knockouts division. Smart!

Kong rightfully believes she has done more for the company than Magnus and sees herself as an asset. She has a point. At least they didn't just hire her because they saw her the British version of American Gladiators.

It was a LIE! (In the wrestling business? NO!)

JBL posted a new WWE Universe blog to clear things up. It seems the monkeys who do the reporting (not us - the people we stole it from) got it wrong. JBL is not buying OVW. Below are his comments.

"I want to be clear about OVW, Danny Davis is the owner-I am not buying OVW nor any interest in OVW. Layfield Energy is merely taking over as his main sponsor and advertiser. I see an opportunity to advertise our products and grow our distribution in Kentucky.

I wouldn't have done this if it weren't for Danny, but I think it is a good marketing vehicle for Layfield Energy. So I want to be clear, I am not in the wrestling business other than as a sponsor and that money will be able to keep OVW going on TV-which I am very happy and proud to do."

So there ya have it! No bullying on the cards for JBL, other than his usual backstage routine at WWE that is.

Mister Moneybags buys OVW

It seems like JBL has found something better to do with his time than pay Shawn Michaels to be his bitch. Layfield recently purchased Ohio Valley Wrestling. "For now, I am funding all of OVW, because I believe in what they are doing," said the smug one on WWE Universe. "One day I will tell all, but for now, I will say that I am doing what is right."

Apparently he did it to save the head trainer Danny Davis. The man of steel flab does have a heart! He said he believes in what Davis is doing, believes in his commitment to the school and "hates to see anyone lose their dream". Awww, cute!

Hopefully he can actually help the young up and coming guys rather than verbally assault and humiliate them. But then again, this is JBL, so probably not.

This is Supposed to Make Me Wanna Buy Wrestlemania 25

It's being reported that WWE has been contacting former Women's Wrestlers for the huge 25-Diva Battle Royal that's being planned for Wrestlemania 25. Lita, Trish Stratus, Torrie Wilson, Mae Young and others are rumored to be a part of this "historic" who's who among washed up divas wrestlers.

The mysterious "insiders" are reporting that WWE has contacted Wendi Richter, who hasn't appeared for the company since she was "the original Bret Hart" in 1985. If you rememeber, Fabulous Moolah, as the masked wrestler "The Spider Lady," broke from the pre-scripted events and pinned Richter's shoulders to the mat. The referee — who was in on the plan — delivered a swift three count, despite Richter kicking out after a count of one.

Wendi Richter is seriously 47 years old. Stephanie McMahon needs to get over whatever insecurities she's got and just call Chyna and put her in this stupid match. That's the only thing that'll get me to buy this PPV. If you're so far down at the bottom of the barrel that you got to call Wendi Richter... yeah, why don't you just call up The Kat while your at it. Oooh! Oooh! I know. Call Tori! Everyone's just dying to see her. Could you call anyone less relevant? Seriously. Put yourself in the match Steph. Even that would be more entertaining. And hey! It's PPV, so it won't be a big deal if you pull your usual stunt and have a hard time keeping your girlie bits in your top!

You're kidding right?

They've supposedly asked this one into the battle royale as well. Maybe Austin can eliminate her with a punch to the face.

You people have got to be kidding me, right? Right!

I almost forgot who she was...

Yep... they've asked Mrs. Haas too.

And This Whore.

Okay, whore is a strong word, but yep. Her too.

This Has Been is in the HOF

No matter how ridiculous you are you can get into the WWE Hall of Fame. Expect a video package on this loser, tonight on Raw. Maybe if we're really lucky, he'll be there and Chris Jericho can do the same stupid promo from last week, replacing all of the "Snuuuukkkkas" with "BEEEEWARE!"

Vince Mad! Vince Smash!

Vince is pissed. Big surprise. You know stuff if really going down the tubes when:

1) You have a "no storylines getting out to the internet" initiative.

2) Your script for Monday Night Raw gets leaked, and it features a HUGE plot that was delayed at the last minute.

3) One of the guys in a Wrestlemania Main Event Match accidentally gives up the match he's going to be in on VH1's music video countdown, even though the match hadn't been announced yet.

Let's get this straight Vince. When you call 25 women to ask them if they want to be in a battle royale, chances are you're not going to get those chicks to stop talking about it. Bitches talk. It's a fact of life. One you should have learned from your countless mistresses. And as far as Big Show is concerned, he already walks around with the obvious mental capacity of an autistic child. In making him show up on every show, some of which he records two weeks in advance, it's impossible to expect him to know what's going on. Seriously? Aren't you used to this by now?

This Chick Will be At the Hoe Bowl

TNA Knockout Velvet Sky will be appearing at the Hoe Bowl on Saturday, March 14 at The Hill in Kingston, New York.

How Appropriate.

Raw is about to become Batista again (OH JOY!)

In an interview with some guy in the Phillipines Batista said:

“I’m over the hump, it’s been two months. Physically, I’ll be able to do a comeback maybe in a month’s time. I’m still on Raw. There’s a draft after Wrestlemania so I don’t know.”

Yup...just when you thought Raw was getting good again, along comes The Animal to piss in our cornflakes. Funnily enough, I hadn't even realized he was gone until I heard he was coming back. Was that just me? Luckily it seems he will miss out on Mania. Money in the Bank is looking horrendous enough without a Batista match to drag the card down. Also, if he interferes in the Orton/Triple H match I will be PISSED!

Will he use his unlimited world title match cheat-code to ruin the main event scene once more? Only time will tell, but God, I hope not.

There are no Divas here.

Entertainment Weekly is reporting that Survivor: Amazon winner (and former playmate) Jenna Morasca is joining the TNA Knockouts, and will debut on the show March 14. Which is exactly what they need in their quest to be a "real" women's wrestling division.

I guess in bizarro world, So Cal Val just got her wish?

New Chyna Music Video

I'm a Chyna mark. She's in a new video for an up and coming band called Lovechild. The song is pretty catchy! Anyway, enjoy.

So Cal Likes to Get Naked!

So Cal Val is hoping that Playboy will approach more TNA Knockouts. Great, I can't wait to see more boring naked pictures of Christy Hemme. Val says...

"It would be a really good thing for TNA," Val said. "I know the fans love our photo shoots and what could be better than to do one for Playboy? And, hey, if we’re going to get naked then this is the classiest way. It would also be great to show the WWE up – and have better pictures than their girls did. It's something I have already been asked to do – I was contacted by a few different people from Playboy when I started with TNA – and I figure I may do it later on," Val added. "I'm 22, so I still have a lot of time to make that decision."

In other news, So Cal Val is only 22.

Big Show going to the Big Show?

For some anticlimactic reason the WWE launched a web page yesterday naming The Big Show as Edge's opponent at Wrestlemania. As if anyone wants to see that. Fear not though, we're expecting it to be reworked as a triple threat match to include John Cena. Let me contain my excitement right quick.

The Game Wrecked a Samoan Bulldozer

While filming for Friday Night Smackdown Umaga was facing Triple H in the main event. Don't ask me why. It's not like the World Champion who is in a heavy debate with Randy Orton didnt' have better things to do, but face this guy he fought a half a million times before. Anyway...

Umaga's fat ass apparently went down really hard on his knee prompting the ref to make the infamous "x" signal. Umaga did not appear during the second taping and missed a house show. So apparently he must be really hurt. Either that or the ref was a big DX mark.