Another Bout of Spring Cleaning

More surprisingly than Jimmy Wang Yang and Grand Master J, WWE just recently announced that it has come to terms with the release of Mike Knox from his contract. One of the most agile, speedy big guys in the whole company, and they had nothin' for him.

Shoulda dropped the beard when they asked you to.

Off With Her Head!

A word of warning to those young ladies in the WWE Universe -- don't even think about having dreams and aspirations beyond WWE, or your ass is grass.

Mickie James, one of the most over babyfaces on the entire roster (not just in the women's division), was future endeavored today along with a handful of other roster cuts. No official reason has been given by WWE, though there are reports that she had been semi-disruptive on the recent European tour, showing up late for travel and so on. Plus, WWE has made no bones about their "problem" with her weight, even turning it into one of the most disgusting angles in history ("Piggy James" - and we wonder why girls in this country think they're fat when they don't look anorexic). But you have to think that it can't be coincidence that both she and Maria (also one of the most popular ladies on the roster) were released just before their secular-to-the-WWE-Universe albums dropped.

Also receiving their pink slips today were Shelton Benjamin (cause God forbid we actually GIVE him a storyline and let him run with it for more than 2 weeks), Katie Lea (who's been a sitting duck ever since Burchill was released), and perennial Smackdown J.O.B. Squad Kung Fu Naki, Jimmy Wang Yang, and Slam Master J (aka Jesse from Jesse and Festus fame).

Yet, inexplicably, Kelly Kelly still has a job.

We Admit, It Was Bad.

The WWE has decided to offer full ticket refunds for those fans unlucky enough to attend the WWE Raw program that aired last night on USA. As previously reported, 90% of the Raw roster has been grounded on the other side of the world due to multiple Volcano eruptions that took place in close proximity. Anyone who watched the show noticed that the majority of the people on television were Smackdown superstars. Most of the show was mindless filler in order to take up the 2 hour time block.

I wonder if the WWE will refund me the time I spent to watch that crap.

Smackdown "INVADING" Raw Tonight.

WWE has been pretty forthcoming about the travel issues they're having. Confirming their Smackdown Raw Show tonight.

"With the volcanic eruption in Europe stranding the majority of the Raw roster, WWE's flagship show is going blue. Even as the cast of the film MacGruber takes the reins as special guest hosts for the potentially cataclysmic show in East Rutherford, N.J., Triple H prepares to share the ring with several top Smackdown Superstars."

Although Raw is trapped in Belfast, Ireland, the SmackDown Superstars were able to arrive in Newark by charter early this morning, after traveling through the night by bus to get to a place where they could take off.

Can the cast of MacGruber control the molten-hot situation that could erupt on Raw? Find out tonight at 9/ 8 CT only on USA Network."

No Heat on Waltman

There seems to be conflicting reports about why Sean Waltman was absent from TNA Lockdown. He also no-showed the fan access event on Saturday.

Report 1: He just wanted to stick it to TNA and didn't bother to show up.

Report 2: (The one I believe.) Sean Waltman did not appear at the TNA Lockdown pay-per-view due to personal reasons. James Caldwell of PWTorch.com reports that Waltman gave TNA management advance notice that he would not be at the show, and the feeling backstage was that he had not been cleared by the Missouri state athletic commission.
Waltman worked an indy date on Saturday night and was reportedly telling people he would not appear at Lockdown. The Torch story notes that there is no heat on Waltman for missing the show, and that he is expected to appear at the TNA Impact tapings today.

There you have it, and there you are.

Believe Me Man, She's Worth It

Christy Hemme has re-signed with TNA Wrestling. Regarding specifics of her contract, the official website of The Honky Tonk Man is reporting that Hemme inked a three-year deal with TNA worth $175,000 per year. The website also notes that Hemme's new contract has left some of her fellow female co-workers noticeably upset.

Hemme's deal is being compared to Awesome Kong's as the recently released Knockout was receiving $400 per appearance from TNA. Reportedly, Kong's inability to attain a slight raise in salary was her main point of contention with TNA, which led to her ultimately departing from the organization.

By comparison, PWInsider reports Generation ME makes $175 per appearance and TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne makes just over $200 per appearance.

I Can Has Your Movie?!

Triple H is currently filming his first WWE Productions movie, "Killing Karma" in New Orleans. The same place where Randy Orton is filming his movie. New Orleans is looking to boost revenue after 2005's Hurricane - and has passed laws offering massive tax breaks to companies who film their movies in the city. WWE has plans to shoot over 13 movies there in the next three years.

"Killing Karma" is about "a man who, after being released from prison, is determined to live a quiet - and legal - life. Then, his best friend approaches with an offer for one last score." It is interesting to note that up until today, wrestling sites and IMDB had been reporting that Batista was the star of this film.

Well, I'd Like to Update You But...

...nothing is going on in the world of WWE because all of the Raw superstars are stuck in England.

Tonight's WWE RAW from East Rutherford, New Jersey is expected to feature mostly SmackDown superstars. Most of the RAW crew is stuck in Europe due to travel restrictions stemming from last week's Iceland volcano eruption.

The superstars stuck in Europe include John Cena, Batista, Randy Orton, Bret Hart, Miz, Big Show Sheamus, Mark Henry, Ted DiBiase, Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, MVP, Chris Masters, Chavo Guerrero and Hornswoggle. Eve Torres, Maryse and Kelly Kelly are among the Divas who also likely won't be at RAW tonight.

As of about an hour ago, UK Authorities extended the ban on flights to Tuesday Morning - at this point, there is fear that the Raw brand may not make it back in time for the Extreme Rules PPV on Sunday.

No Guest Host for Draft Day.

AKA: Randy Orton Goes to Smackdown.

According to an article posted on PW Torch, the WWE has made the decision to not have a guest host on the April 26th edition of Raw that follows the Extreme Rules PPV. This Monday night show will feature the annual WWE Draft that typically takes place a month or so after Wrestlemania. This would be the first show that the WWE has ever run without a guest host since the inception of the idea in June of 2009.

Not going to complain. The WWE Draft show is typically pretty entertaining, so I'm glad they didn't decide to muck it up by having some dipstick with a book or a movie to sell show up and produce bad segments in the middle of the program. Though, at least with the rumored storyline involving The Rock that is supposedly set to last from the beginning of June all the way up to Summerslam, we'll at least have something to keep our attention away from some imbecile like Verne Troyer hocking their crap on my TV.

It's All About the Game and How You Play It

Yep, the similarities are uncanny.

According to an ESPN opinion article written by ESPN writer Jemele Hill, Tiger Woods has what it takes to become the ultimate heel of the golf course.

"Tiger Woods should curse enough to make Redd Foxx blush. He should put a Perkins restaurant sticker on his bag. He should throw his clubs like a javelin whenever he misses an easy putt. He should text message in-between shots. If a reporter asks about his emotional state, Tiger should channel Bobby Knight and make a bunch of ridiculously juvenile faces."

What does this have to do with wrestling you ask? Hill further explains.

"Tiger should become a bad guy. He should be golf's version of the WWE's Triple H."

Hill goes on to explain that casting Tiger Woods as a heel type character in golf would further add edge to his budding rivalry with Phil Mickelson. You can read the full ESPN article here.

I promised myself I would be done making jokes about Tiger Wood's adultery issues, but man if they casted Woods as a Triple H like heel, I'd watch golf just to see him inevitably perform a Pedigree on his Caddy.

Smackdown Going to SyFy

According to reports written in the Los Angeles Times, SyFy has shelled out an estimated $30,000,000 to the WWE to successfully rope in the Smackdown brand for the SyFy network.

That would make the SyFy network the channel to go to in order to view both the new NXT program and the Smackdown brand. One can only assume that this news spells the imminent doom for MyNetwork TV, which previously had Smackdown on its lineup, the only large ratings draw for the channel.

Another One For The Good Guys

So you remember how Eric Bischoff was cocking off about his book a few weeks ago, and how it was still making him thousands of dollars in royalties? So WWE decided to drop the price to $1.98? Bischoff strikes back. Via Facebook:

Just received 1,000 copies of Controversy Creates Cash from WWE! $1.98 AND THEY PAID SHIPPING! That is frigging awesome. I'm going to autograph the first 100 sell for 20.00 with preceeds going to support the Upper Banch Mine Fund that TNA raised money for. Details to follow in the next day or two. Spread the word!

You know what? Good for him, and good for TNA for doing so much to help the unfortunate victims of last week's West Virginia mining accident. They also held some house shows this weekend with proceeds going to the same cause. According to Jeff Jarrett's twitter, they had a largely successful turnout for those shows. And Kurt Angle himself even offered to match the donations made at Saturday's show in Corbin, KY.

Say what you will about TNA's product, but from all outward appearances (which, I know, can be deceiving), they seem to be a nice little close-knit family who support each other, their company, their industry, and the world around them. That's the kind of people I cheer on.

Goldberg is "open" to wrestling at Mania next year

In an interview with ESPN.com, former WCW monster and Bret Hart career-killer Bill Goldberg said he'd be "open" to wrestling one final match at Wrestlemania next year, when the Grandaddy emanates from WCW-hotbed Atlanta, GA.

"It's not something that I'm seeking out to do at 43 years old. But you know, WrestleMania is next year in Atlanta. Hulk Hogan and I put 43,000 people in the Georgia Dome with three days notice. I've got a fairly big following in Atlanta. Is it out of the realm of possibility? I'd say no."

Listen, Goldberg is "open" to wrestling one last match at Wrestlemania the same way I'm "open" to jumping on stage and playing guitar for Alter Bridge. Cut the foreplay, Bill. You want to ask... call up Vince and ask.

TNA Tries Using T&A

Is it even a competition anymore?

Here's my rant for the week.

When Vince McMahon first accused the TNA product of being "tawdry and bloodsoaked action", I laughed. I laughed because this was the same McMahon that put his corporate stamp of approval on such creative masterpieces as Mae Young giving birth to a prosthetic hand and the Katie Vick storyline. I laughed because it was only in the last couple of years that the WWE product has made a format change to appeal to the younger, PG audience. I also laughed because I never considered TNA's product to be tawdry in the slightest. Confusing? Absolutely. Full of holes? You bet. Spotlights on the wrong people? For sure. I never once thought of TNA's shows to be trashy.

That was, until last night.

In the desperate ploy for a ratings jump, the injured and limping TNA iMPACT! program produced the biggest pile of balls that professional wrestling / sports entertainment has seen in years. Yes, it was worse than the Jerry Springer Guest Host edition of Raw. Believe me.

Between Jeff Hardy meaning ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, Orlando Jordan's Lady Gaga gimmick ripoff, and quite possibly the trashiest segment I had the displeasure of watching, the TNA Knockout's Title Belt In a Box... thing, I was ready to stab my eyes out with an icepick. That was, until I realized there was a better show on the USA network. I'm not even going to go into the nitty gritty details, but when you have a segment where a TNA Knockout is forced to take their clothes off because one of the boxes tells them to do it? You're tawdry. When your Women's Championship belt changes hands because someone opened a box on a gameshow? You're tawdry. When you resort to lowbrow gameshow crap to increase your ratings instead of actually showcasing the people you spent TOP DOLLAR for, you're not only tawdry, you're stupid.

Here's the best part: Their ridiculous attempt to draw more viewers to the show by flaunting Knockout Boobies did NOTHING FOR THEIR RATINGS. TNA drew the average ho-hum 0.9 that they always have, except for the post-Wrestlemania week when they drew a 0.6.

This is what makes me so mad. TNA, I WANT YOU TO BE SUCCESSFUL. We want competition! I wish you would put a superior product out, because it would force everyone else to step up their game! But when you actually allow your cameras to record the garbage that you put together last night, you're tawdry.

And you're doomed for failure.

Randy Orton Thinks Ken Anderson is "Not Very Good."

There was some story today about Randy Orton's movie, and how much fun they're having making it look like the 60s. It has a 5 Million Dollar budged...blah, blah, blah... this story is better. So I'm going to tell this one.

At Wrestlemania 26 Fan Access festivities, Randy did a question and answer session with fans. One young fan asked him who his favorite wrestler was, and someone else in the crowd yelled out "Kennedy". Randy, who seems like something of a comedic timing expert, paused - delivered the above look on his face and said. "That guy is dangerous." He paused for comedic purposes and then "...and not very good either." As if that wasn't enough, he completely digressed and said, (paraphrasing, because I can't watch the video again right now.) "I turned on that show with the ten sided ring or whatever it is. If you're going to go to the other show, the least you can do is change your gimmick. When I saw him do this thing..." Randy then proceeded to mimmick the Kennedy microphone grab. "...I mean I've seen that before. WHAT IS THAT?!"

It was a fantastic 18 minutes, and I think even the casual Orton fan will like it. He talks about his daughter, his favorite matches, his first title win, and why Stephanie McMahon is awesome. Watch it! :)

Undertaker and HBK Wanted JR for WM26.

By Brian Cantor
F4WOnline.com reports that in the lead-up to their WrestleMania 26 match, both Shawn Michaels and Undertaker requested that Jim Ross be allowed to commentate their main-event bout.

There has been at least prior instance in which a request from main-event wrestlers led to Jim Ross regaining the helm of the commentary booth (Steve Austin and The Rock pushed for Ross as a commentator in 2001), but the campaign from Michaels and Undertaker was unsuccessful this time. WWE Chairman Vince McMahon, who made the call to keep Ross off the show, was unconvinced by the wrestlers and creative team and remained firm in his decision.

While the decision to keep Ross off the show was made several weeks ago, there were still many who hoped Vince McMahon would change his mind come game time. The issue of adding Ross to the main-event panel came up one final time during WrestleMania week, but McMahon shot it down, arguing that the company could not live in the past and that because Ross was not going to be returning as a full-time commentator, the WM26 slot should not be taken away from regulars Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and Matt Striker.

Sources say that wrestler and employee interactions with Ross during WM week were uncomfortable, since it was visibly clear that JR was hurt by his omission from the card. He nonetheless conveyed positive spirits in a recent blog post, demonstrating optimism that his role going forward will be productive.

TNA Releases Daniels

If you need any further proof that Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff want to destroy every shred of original TNA that there is (save AJ Styles) TNA has released Christopher Daniels.

Almost immediately Daniels contacted ROH, and returned at their most recent PPV. This is a sad day for TNA - and I don't even think they realize it.

RIP (for real) Chris Kanyon

RIP Chris "Kanyon" Klucsaritis
January 4, 1970 – April 2, 2010


Chris Klucsaritis, known by his in-ring names Chris Kanyon, and (earlier in his WCW career) masked as Mortis, was found dead Friday night in his Queens apartment, apparently of a drug-induced suicide. He was found with a pill bottle and several notes around his body.

Kanyon, who had been battling bipolar disorder, had threatened suicide many times in the past according to some of his friends, and reached out as recently as last Monday, saying he was battling another bout of depression and feeling suicidal.

Even though Kanyon had turned into something of a walking joke following his in-ring career, there's absolutely nothing funny about this. Depression is a vicious cycle, and in cases like this, a deadly one. If you or anyone you know is battling depression, bipolar disorder, or anything of the sort, I urge you to take notice and take it seriously. Hopeline is ready and waiting for your call, 24/7, at 1-800-SUICIDE or http://www.hopeline.com.

On a personal note... being a huge WCW mark during his heyday, I always fully enjoyed his "WHO BETTA DAN KANYON?" schtick. He (kayfabe) always expected the crowd to reply with "Nobody!" but we always answered with "Everybody!" and it drove him nuts. I always wondered if that was somehow planted, or if the fans just figured that out on their own. And though they were typically crapped on by the fans, I always fully enjoyed the Mortis/Glacier feud.

Good night, sweet prince.

RIP "Mr. McMahon"

According to the Wrestling Observer Newsletter, which is never ever wrong, the beating that "Mr. McMahon" took at the hands of the Hart family at last weekend's Wrestlemania XXVI was meant to signify the Harts' "ultimate revenge" and the end of the Mr. McMahon character.

The character, which was created in 1997 following the Montreal Screwjob, saw its most prominent role during the Stone Cold days, and experienced a resurgence around the time of the 2006 DX run, with various appearances thrown in here and there for good measure. Now after all these years, since Bret got his comeuppance and finally put a cap on the Screwjob angle for good, Mr. McMahon will be going away. The Newsletter says "McMahon is a firm believer in pushing younger acts and is not blind to the fact that he's in his 60's and the character more than ran its course." Let's just ask Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne how that "pushing the younger acts" thing is working out for them.

So this leaves a lot of unanswered questions. Will we never see Vince McMahon on television again? Will he appear simply as "the Chairman, Vince McMahon?" Did his one-night return to the broadcast table light a fire under him to return there for good (and hopefully boot Michael Cole from the flagship show once and for all)? Will Stephanie be returning to TV? Will Triple H be hanging it up and taking up the "evil boss" mantle? Should we strap in for months and months of ridiculous guest hosts who know nothing about the business but have some movie or book to shill? Is the Observer trying to pull an April Fool's joke on us?

I guess time will only tell.

Randy Orton is 30 Today

My hometown boy, Randy Orton turns 30 today. When Elaine's water broke, you think Bob thought she was just razzing him?

Randy has been a staple on our television sets for 8 years already, making his WWE debut on April 25, 2002. As previously reported, Randy recently signed a 10 year contract, for an undisclosed sum, with WWE. It goes into effect in May, meaning Randy is under contract until weeks after his 40th birthday.

He is currently in New Orleans working on his WWE Feature Film debut.

Now This is Embarassing

"What we gotta do, brother, is HIRE MORE OLD PEOPLE."

Now, the fact that Monday night's edition of WWE Raw pulled monstrous ratings was of no surprise to anyone, but get this.

TNA's iMPACT show this last Monday not only lost the ratings war to the Monday night Raw airing at the same time, but it also reeled in LESS ratings than the Saturday night 12AM Raw rerun that aired before Wrestlemania.

I'll repeat that, because it bears repeating.

That piss poor final Raw before Wrestlemania, remember that? The RERUN of that craptastic show that aired the following Saturday night at Midnight drew a 0.7 rating, higher than the 0.6 that TNA's Flagship program garnered on its prime-time slot.
That... is just embarassing.

Update on Jim Ross

Jim Ross posted the following about his negotiations with WWE on his jrsbarbq.com blog.

"JR is NOT retiring. It's tempting and financially doable but I want to work a few more years in a role that is fun and not as laden with stress as some of my previous assignments have been.

No I am not 'vanishing.' LIfe is so good here in Norman and I have a tremendous amount of things to look forward to although I know that I have not broadcast my last event. One doesn't do something for over 35 years and stop cold turkey or at least I don't.

There are no issues or problems with my negotiations with WWE. The ball is in WWE's court to put together a new role for me within the company. Essentially they have decided to reassign me from weekly broadcasting and that includes the monthly PPV's to focus on other areas of the company. I am guessing, and I stress guessing, that may be some form of scouting and/or talent development. I might be wrong on that assumption but I'll know before the end of April as that is when my current extension expires."

Shannon and Jeff Want Matt to Say "So Long WWE!"

TNA stars Jeff Hardy and Shannon Moore are trying to get their brother and friend Matt Hardy to "jump ship" from WWE to TNA after the two wrote "cryptic" messages on Twitter last night.

Shannon wrote: "@MATTHARDBRAND time to jump ship brudda. Ship has set sail. Tell Ace you quit and be a Heavens Demon!!!"

Jeff then wrote the following: "Maybe my brother can join tha demons next time if he gets his shit together."

Presumably the "Ace" that Shannon was referring to is WWE's John "Johnny Ace" Laurinaitis. It's possible Jeff was talking about next time Matt can join them at the UFC Fight Night 21 show that he, Shannon and Gregory Helms attended last night. (source: lordsofpain.net)

Flair Doesn't Like The New Guy

Ric Flair confronted an on-air male companion of Orlando Jordan after the TNA iMPACT tapings this past Tuesday when several TNA wrestlers and crew members were hanging out at a local bar.

According to the report, Flair got so upset while watching the man dance at the bar, that he confronted him and cut a promo on him. Jordan’s friend was said to be very shaken by Flair’s comments, that he left the bar. The report also says that Flair was fuming over the male companion having a role with the company, and not belonging in the locker room with the rest of the wrestlers and crew members. (Source: ProWrestling.NET)

I don't think this HAS to be a "gay thing", though many are going to see it that way. Flair is VERY old school, but he's also friends with Pat Patterson who has been out in the business for years. I'm hopeful that this was more of a "paying your dues" thing, than a gay thing. This guy is on TV simply because he's in a relationship with Orlando Jordan, and not because he has any acting or wrestling talent to speak of.