According to well-placed sources at tnawrestlingnews.com, Jeff Hardy's court date has once again been delayed. A few days ago, he appeared in the Moore County courthouse with his lawyer and was once again able to delay his trial, this time to June 3. And I, for one, hope it gets delayed one more time -- I'm more than likely going to a TNA house show on June 5, and I want to see Jeff Hardy, dammit!
I mean, really. Intent to sell? The guy's made some huge bank with WWE, why in the world would he have any reason to sell drugs? It does not make sense! In fact, here's how I imagine the trial going down in my head:
Awesome Jeff Hardy Lawyer: Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!
Asshole State Prosecutor: Damn it!... He's using the Chewbacca defense!
Awesome Jeff Hardy Lawyer: Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a world renowned Professional Wrestling superstar, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.
And then the Judge lets him off. Cause, I mean, really. IT DOES NOT. MAKE. SENSE.
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