This Wasn't Smart Brother

So, Hulk Hogan is a little but distressed because his estranged wife Linda is kind of a whore, but it might not be a good idea to say things like this to the media.

Hogan tells Rolling Stone, "I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like OJ, cutting everybody's throat. You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can't go to anymore, you're driving through downtown Clearwater and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife . . . I totally understand OJ. I get it."

I think this speaks for itself.

Paper Doll

Chyna's second book 'Chyna - Paper Doll' is available for preorder at WorldAudience.com. The print version of the book is to be released at the end of April with the ebook already available from the publisher.

This is said to be the first of a long list of 2009 projects for the artist formerly known as Joanie Laurer.

This Spicy Little Vixen is Headed to TNA?

Dixie Carter was seen talking to the artist formally known as Victoria at a UFC show in Nashville last week. There is a lot of interest in bringing Victoria into the already crowded TNA Knockouts locker room. The deal is rumored to depend on Victoria's WWE contract and when her no compete clause expires.

Congrats Shannon & Julie Moore

Shannon Moore got married to Julie Youngberg recently and put up great pictures from their honeymoon on his MySpace. The pair dated for almost two years before sealing the deal. Both have been married once before, but this seems to be the real deal. I am so happy for Shannon.

On a side note:

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I hope you're dying inside.

More Details Emerge

ABC News out of Atlanta is reporting that Andrew "Test" Martin appears to have suffered an accidental overdose of Oxycontin. No other details were made available.

AmDrag to MMA

And a little news for the deepest darkest basement nerds to beat off to: The Wrestling Observer Newsletter is reporting that when Bryan Danielson's ROH contract expires next month, he won't renew, opting instead to make the shift to Mixed Martial Arts. American Dragon has been training in the Xtreme Couture for the past few months, and plans to continue his training in Thailand this summer.

Personally, I feel, good for him. The guy works his ass off, but he's a Benoit/Bret Hart style. Great mat technician, the kind who can get over with the smark crowd but would get largely ignored in a WWE/TNA arena. Best of luck to AmDrag in his future endeavors. :)

WWE Officials Are Upset With This Pretty Thing

Word has it that WWE officials are a tad upset with Trish Stratus about not joining the 24 Diva (not a typo) Battle Royal at the 24th Anniversary (also not a typo) of Wrestlemania this past weekend. They say that the event was born out of the reaction that she received in her one-night return on Raw in Toronto a couple months ago. Other word has it that the reason Ms. Stratus didn't join the festivities is because when she heard that she couldn't win it, and that Santino was, she declined.

Well... can ya blame her?

Who knows what this means for the future of one-off Trish appearances, but she's keeping plenty busy with her own stuff.

The Ugly Hermaphrodite May Or May Not Host Superstars

DirecTV's listings for the forthcoming return of WWE Superstars (Premiering one week from today on WGN, 8PM Eastern, 7 Central!) lists former Rock whipping boy Kevin Kelly as the host. However, Kelly is apparently telling people he won't be hosting the show.

The plot thickens...

Leave the Memories Alone...

Following the biggest waste of $55 ever last night, JBL has confirmed that "I Quit!" really means he's done, in a blog post this morning on WWE Universe (STILL hate that name).

JBL No More, Thank You.
Monday, April 6, 2009, 09:06 AM EST [General]

April 6, 2009

It doesn't get any bigger than Wrestlemania 25. WM 25 was in my home state of Texas with my childhood idols being inducted into the hall of fame.

I had wanted to make it to WM 25 for years, and when injuries cut my career short the one regret I had was that I wouldn't make the 25th anniversary of Wrestlemania-well, I made it. I never dreamed after I retired the first time that my back would get better and I would be allowed to return to wrestling.

Standing there last night in front of over 70,000 people in my home state ended a journey that was unreal to me. For a kid from Sweetwater, Texas to be able to travel all over the world and realize his dream is pretty cool.

I don't know what the future holds, never say never in life. But I have wrestled my last match. Months ago, I picked out this match. If Eddie Guerrero couldn't be here for it then my dear friend Rey was the obvious choice, and I'm proud he was.

I want to thank the WWE for a great career, for taking a chance on me and allowing me the keys to the car for a while. I will always represent the WWE wherever I go, I am proud of my 13 ½ years with the WWE. And, I am proud of the WWE for cleaning up a great sport to make it more healthy to everyone that is a part.

However, I have no current plans on doing anything in the future on a professional level with WWE. I don't plan on doing commentary, in fact; it hasn't even been brought up to me. I don't plan on being an on air character. I plan on starting the next chapter in my life, and closing the door on this one.

I have worked with some of the greatest people in the world; I have life long friends that are the best in the world. Everytime WWE is brought up or JBL, I will smile. I having nothing but great, great memories.

I have several projects that I am working on that will keep me more than busy.

I have worked with Charlie Haas to reform www.custom-muscle.com and together we plan on being the best nutrition web site in the world. Check us out, you can buy Layfield Products there, but you can also buy all the cutting edge supplements in the nutrition world there-and the plain old everyday supplements as well.

We plan on offering a full service web site, from information to updates on the world of fitness and health and of course the best prices for supplements of all kinds.

I plan on hunkering down and building my companies. I plan on building a world class distribution service in Nashville and a top notch global beverage company. I have a deal in the banking world that I hope to get done that will allow the disabled the first fully access bank online.

I have had a life that I could have only dreamed of so far, but it is my time to say thank you and go away. I have nothing but great and fond memories and I want to leave before any of that changes, I swore I would never stay too long-I have too much respect for this business to do that.

You may see me in the WWE again, I don't know-but that is not the plan. Right now, I have gotten up early today and am ready to go to work on the next part of my life that will hopefully exceed the first part.

I have been on the road for my entire adult life. I want to put the suitcases up and do my best to be successful outside of wrestling, today starts that journey.

Thanks to all you guys out there for cheering me, booing me and making signs about me. It is a little overwhelming to think of the great fans the WWE has today. I have been a bad guy for so long, and when I started you were a bad guy 24/7, I carried that mindset probably too long-well no more, today I am just a normal guy going to work.

It seems like yesterday I was sitting with my Grandfather watching wrestling, and telling him that one day I was going to be one of those guys. My grandfather never got to see me wrestle, but I am sure he is happy today. I hope Bobby Duncum Jr. and Eddie Guerrero were watching with him.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for allowing me to be a part of the great theater we call "sports entertainment", personally I just always considered myself a wrestler.

You know, I've been very vocal about my dislike for the JBL character. And the John Layfield that we always heard about on NEWZ sites, talking about being a bully to the young guys and soaping asses, I was never much of a fan either. But damn you, Jibble, for being so eloquent with this goodbye blog. You actually made me feel like I'm going to miss you... for a few seconds. In all honesty, I hope the best for him in his future endeavors, as I do everyone.

But thank you, thank you, THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER for not going to the commentary booth!

You, too, can stalk Joey Styles...

I still don't get the draw of this Twitter thing. It's a status update. You can do it on Myspace or Facebook, along with like a billion other things. Having those sites, and then joining Twitter, is like having a Target or Wal-Mart in your town and then starting up a new store that sells nothing but light bulbs.

Regardless, if you want to follow Joey Styles, he's joined the flock: http://twitter.com/WWEJoeyStyles. Twit away!

Tell me... he didn't just do that.

And another one bites the dust. Legendary manager, "Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart was the latest to ditch Booker T's charity event, "Legends of Wrestling," in favor of the Wrestlemania Axxess event.

This honestly upsets me. Booker's fanfest is for his "Booker T Fights For Kids" foundation. It's in the same freakin city! It's not like these people couldn't appear for an hour or two at one event, jet across town and go do the other one. This is just selfish, whether it's on the stars' part or WWE's.

Torrie Wilson, Ron Simmons, Nick Bockwinkle, Tito Santana, and now Jimmy Hart... you're on the naughty list.

Does She Or Doesn't She?

According to The Sun, Trish Stratus now says she has no commitments this weekend. Not that she's ever come right out and said she'd be at Wrestlemania anyway....

Oh, who am I kidding? This is just a thinly veiled excuse to post one of the hottest Trish pictures I've seen in forever. It's like she's crawling right towards me. I'm so over it though. Us basement nerds are always beating them off with sticks.... er, something like that.

The next wrestlers to start a band...

After recently learning that former TNA star and fortunate receiver of some strand of HBK DNA Matt Bentley had helped form a band in Orlando, Lost In Chaos, and interviewing him about it on So What If It's Fake, we've received word today that Petey Williams and the Motor Murder City Machineguns, Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin, are forming a band called The High Crusade. From Petey's myspace blog:

"Things are finally complete...

Come and see the debut show of The High Crusade! The new band featuring the Motor City Machineguns (Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin) and Petey Williams will perform Wednesday April 9th at the Double OO Pub in Redford, Michigan. Show starts at 11:30pm.

The Double OO Pub is located at 25044 Grand River Ave. Redford, MI, 48204, (313)592 -9705"

I thought April Fool's for a minute, till realizing it was April 2. And a quick check of the venue's myspace does indeed show a "Debut of Pro Wrestlers Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin" for the 9th. Even I've grown tired of this kind of phrasing, but this is one ginormous bucket of epic, incredible win.

More details as they become available...

Oh Cena... You Slay Me... WTF is This HIGH SCHOOL?!

So, Earlier today (April 1st), it was reported on WWE.com that Vickie Guererro is pregnant and the father could be either John Cena, Edge or Big Show. If you suspected the news was an April Fool's joke, you were right. The following comes from WWE.com:

"In keeping with the April Fool’s Day tradition – not to mention, having some fun at the expense
of his opponents in the Triple Threat Title Match at WrestleMania, World Champion Edge and Big Show – John Cena has confessed to being the mastermind behind the story of Vickie Guerrero’s pregnancy. Long known to have a wicked sense of humor, Cena called the WWE.com offices to suggest that, as an April Fool's Day gag, we publish an article stating that Guerrero visited an El Paso, Texas obstetrician/gynecologist’s office for pre-natal care."


Hahaha Cena, you sligh dog you. Your jokes are just as funny as the WWE creative team. Congrats!

Okay, So I Guess This is Cool...

Vince McMahon will induct Stone Cold Steve Austin into the WWE Hall of Fame on Saturday Night, making this the first time since the WWE brought the show back in 2004 that Vince McMahon has appeared on camera. I guess that's pretty cool.

I Hate You Tazz

Tazz is gone from World Wrestling Entertainment. His WWE contract expired today and he will not be at WrestleMania on Sunday. The buzz in the WWE locker room last night was that Tazz gave WWE officials notice a few weeks ago that he would not be renewing his deal. He is leaving on good terms.Tazz reportedly had been telling friends that he is burnt out and needs some time to recharge his batteries. That said, the door is still open for him to explore other options, including TNA Wrestling, Ring of Honor or even UFC. With Tazz gone, there will now be an open spot at the SmackDown announcer's table. One name that's been talked about is John Bradshaw Layfield, who is looking to retire from the ring this year and is a former SmackDown announcer himself.

So the situation we've run into is that we won't just be getting the occasional twenty minutes of JBL now, oh no, two solid hours of his amazing input. The kind of input that makes you want to push a q-tip into your ear until your brain bleeds. Right before you realized, oh crap... I coulda changed the channel.

You know your movie sucked when...

12 Rounds sucked so bad that WWE has actually started a survey asking why YOU didn't go see it! I filled it out. I particularly liked the "I don't like John Cena" option. You should take it too!!

The Survey is HERE!!!