Parade-amania

Yeah, it's gonna look like this.

According to articles published on wrestling-radio.com and prowrestling.net, TNA and the Bubba the Love Sponge are hosting a parade in Hulk Hogan's honor at Margaritaville in City Walk at Unversal Orlando. Said parade is being held just 24 hours before the Hulkster's triumphant January 4th return to TNA iMPACT! TNA Camera crews will be on deck to film the event, so we're likely to be graced with some footage of this momentous occasion at some point during the program.

In the words of the great Dennis Leary: "Please pull that bus to the side of the pretentiousness turnpike." We've all been watching the news reels, Dixie. Hulkamania lost its luster a long time ago, even before he spent as much time in a televised courtroom as O.J. Simpson. Please don't be upset when TNA draws a 1.5 rating like we all know it will.

A Message from Mr. Humility and Mr. Modesty

The man who was in court earlier this week, defending the honor of his stolen toilet seat, has predicted that his debut on TNA will draw a 3.0 rating, DOUBLE the typical ratings TNA will pull.

Seems he might be... I don't know, over estimating his own importance because word on the street is that Hulk was exhausted for his own Hulkamania tour. He was apparently hurting really bad and moved his matches to earlier in the night. After the third night, Hogan's hip went out and he and Ric Flair promo'ed on each other rather than wrestled.

I'm going to love to watch these two promoing on each other behind the safe barricade of their walkers in the coming years.

Dixie Carter Fail

According to "sources" there is a lot of frustration within TNA because nobody has been given anything but a basic outline about the show's direction over the next couple of weeks. The TV tapings for the next two weeks were done with no idea of direction for anyone's character.

Obviously one of 100 reasons why TNA completely sucks. It's like poor AJ Styles is just going to work one day, then he's told that he's going to wrestle in a tutu for now on. No explanation given to him or to the viewing audience. But thats okay because HULK HOGAN is coming!

Shane McMahon Might Be Pissed

According to LordsofPain.net
Shane McMahon has not been working for WWE since announcing his resignation, which takes effect January 1st. It's said that morale is the lowest with workers in the office since anyone can remember. One person close to Shane says that him leaving WWE had to do with being passed over for power and that he was tired of being humiliated publicly by Vince.

One Less Diva to Suck It Up!

Alicia Fox reportedly sufered a dislocated shoulder at a house show on November 28th. We won't have to see her in the mass of nameless faceless divas for a few weeks. Yey.

Oh Happy Day!

As always during this time of year there is much speculation that Shawn Michaels will be retiring after Wrestlemania 26. In a recent interview with MySanAntonio.com Shawn did admit that he's planning an extended hiatus.

"I take four months off in the summer and just spend time with the family," Michaels said. "It's a tough line of work. Those injuries hang around longer and those injuries are tougher to deal with. When I stop, my body will have an opportunity to heal and rest. That comes along with the territory. I actually don't have to take on the schedule that the other guys have to take on," Michaels said. "I wrestle more on a part-time basis."

Test's Brain Looked Like Benoit's.

ESPN has filed an extensive report on brain damage to pro athletes, with the spotlight on pro wrestling as the news that Andrew "Test" Martin had Brain damage similar to Chris Benoit's at the time of his death in March of 09.

Studies showed Test had damage "stemming from repeated blows to the head". (You think? Really? You don't say!) Like Benoit, Test had "excessive amounts of tau proteins" and his brain had "lost the ability to heal itself."

The report goes on to state that Dr. Bennet Omalu, the co-director of the Brain Injury Research Institute, who conducted the study, said "Science tells us that jumping off of 10 foot ladders and slamming people with tables and chairs is simply bad for the brain."

I'd like to see the scientific studies done on this particular subject, and I'd like to know exactly what the hypothesis was, and who these people who were willing to hurt themselves in the name of science were. I'm sure WWE is LOVING this as the Tables, Ladders, and Chairs (incorrect comma usuage WWE!!) PPV is on Sunday.

To even compare Andrew Martin to Chris Benoit as far as amount of punishment on the body in a wrestling career is like comparing apples to pickled beets. Then again, Dr. Omalu is the same guy that claimed that Chris Benoit's brain resembled an 85-year-old with Alzheimer's. To hear this doctor tell it, it leaves you wondering how Benoit controlled his bowels or found his own front door, let alone went to his airport or I dunno... managed to Crippler Crossface his wife and kid to death. This is also the same doctor who hasn't provided WWE with said report about the extent of Benoit's brain injuries. So, maybe this doctor is just an attention seeking famewhore. I mean, it's not like he works at the f'n Mayo Clinic. Who ever heard of the Brain Injury Research Institute anyway?

This Man Will Kill You

Red Bull may give Ken Anderson wings, but it turns out Kennedy may give his opponents a different brand of wings. Those of the angel variety.

Eddie Guerrero and Umaga wrestled their final matches against Ken Anderson. Both grapplers would pass away mere days after facing the former Mr. Kennedy.

Best Trivia Tidbit EVER!

Dixie Carter is "incredibly naive"

Source: f4wonline.com

"From talking to people in WWE, there is said to be "pretty much no concern whatsoever" in regards to TNA's iMPACT! going head-to-head with Monday Night Raw on January 4, 2010. There is such little concern about TNA that WWE is not even looking to move Raw to three hours, though there is talk of lining up a strong guest host for the first two weeks of the new year.

Among those in WWE, the general feeling is that TNA president Dixie Carter is "incredibly naïve" and that TNA is in for a massive disappointment come January 5th when the ratings come in."

And hello! I agree. People weren't turning on the TV to see RVD or Shannon Moore (YEY!) when they were in WWE. So what's the big freakin' deal TNA? Hulk Hogan - who cares? He's marrying someone who is the same age as his daughter and was recently in the news because he wanted to make sure he got an antique toilet seat in his divorce. There are a TON of WWE fans are torqued off at Ric Flair because he was given the send off of a KING and he's throwing it all away for a romp in TNA. The only way this will be even marginally successful is if people watch out of curiosity, and I imagine even then the ratings won't hold over time. TNA does this all the time. Sting, Kurt Angle... they all brought a minor ratings surge, but the issue is that TNA does NOTHING to hold their audience.

/soapbox

They're Coming to America!

Congratulations to ECW Wrestler Vladimir Kozlov who was among those becoming US Citizens in a ceremony in Tampa, Florida. Kozlov had this to say ""Oh to be a U.S. citizen has been like a dream for long time, Kozlov said. "When I was raised and born in Russia, I had [a] dream to come to United States because U.S. [is a] land of big opportunity. If you work hard, you can reach whatever you want."

Not on Your Mark? Just LIE Down!

Last week on Raw there was some hullabaloo because Maryse appeared to have fainted. According to www.f4wonline.com Maryse actually went to do her trademark hairflip and when she realized she wasn't on the hard camera side she simply laid down on the mat to "laugh it off". I guess WWE creative is writing the excuses these days too.

NOH8

Lillian Garcia is the first WWE (former or current) Person to take part in the NOH8 movement. I thought the picture was beautiful. NOH8 promotes marriage equality. For more information http://www.noh8.org

Rest in Peace Umaga

Eddie Fatu, Jr. Known to the wrestling world as Umaga and maybe Jamal from 3 Minute warning, passed away unexpectedly.

You might not have noticed though, because WWE didn't so much as flash his picture before their program Monday.