Saturday, January 30, 2010

Raw Going to 3 Hours?!



I feel the same way, Maggle.


More news from Dave Meltzer via Gerweck.net: Apparently there's talk of Raw expanding to a 3 hour show when TNA makes the move to Mondays (which is still thought to be happening on March 1). TNA's unsure yet whether to keep the same start time or move up an hour, but word has it that USA has been pressuring WWE for a while now to change Raw to 3 hours, with much resistance from Vince and Stephanie McMahon.

Because that's just what we need. Another hour of Lawler phoning it in, Cena never giving up, mis-using Kofi Kingston, not using Charlie Haas, and Michael Cole reminding us 4 more times that we're watching the longest running weekly episodic show in cable TV history. Gag.

TNA Hits Record Rating



Excited DW is excited.
(Credit to somebody at wrestlecrap)



The 1/28 episode of TNA Impact garnered themselves a 1.4 rating (rounded up from 1.38) and is now the highest rated Thursday episode ever. I thought I remembered a 1.4 last year as well, but that must have been rounded up from a 1.37 or such.

Now I am not, by any means, declaring this a big victory for TNA (even if DW and Tenay on perpetual loop high-fiving is the most awesome thing you'll see all weekend). In fact, there's big cause for concern when you look at the quarterly breakdown:

1.51 Bischoff, Hogan, Foley segment in the ring.
1.46 Anderson interview, Wolfe vs Morley
1.44 Hernandez vs Daniels
1.43 Beautiful people vs Kong, Hamada, Tara
1.42 Angle, Hogan segment in the ring, The Band attacks Angle
1.27 Motor city machine guns, Kendrick vs Generation me, Amazing Red
1.22 Williams vs Amazing Red in a short match, backstage segments with Bischoff/Foley and Bischoff/Flair/Styles
1.30 Mr Anderson vs Jarrett

A steady decline in viewers, until the main event. But on the postive side of the negative, their low quarter (1.2) is still better than the 0.9-1.1 purgatory they were in BH*. And the 1.51 at the top of the first hour is an indication that many people were interested in the "crap" known as the Orlando Screwjob last week... or at least something on the show is catching their attention and making them curious to tune in. And with viewership already up on Thursdays, this is a good sign for the rampant speculation by Dave Meltzer that the next live Monday show is actually the beginning of a permanent move to Mondays with the old Raw schedule (live one week, tape the following show the next night, rinse, repeat).

It may not be the "Monday Night Wars" renaissance quite yet, but... we're on the right road.


* Before Hogan

Friday, January 29, 2010

This just in, the fat Scott Hall isn't impressive.

Sue me for the spanish, I needed a before and after 10 years of McDonalds picture.

Word 'round the campfire is that Scott Hall and Sean Waltman are doing an incredibly poor job of impressing the TNA brass. Reports went so far as to say that most people even expected that Hall wouldn't last very long, but they were surprised that Waltman didn't attempt to make a better showing, since he's done a pretty efficient job burning his bridges in the good ole US of A.

I guess it's pretty hard to be 51 years old and an impressive in ring athlete, especially if you're Scott Hall and you look like you've stuffed doughnuts in your cheeks to get you through the winter.

Say how you really feel, Eric.


In response to swirling rumors that Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan were interested in bringing the Honky Tonk Man aboard the sinking TNA ship, Bischoff politely suggest that he would rather drive a rusty icepick through his thigh than work with Honky Tonk Man. Bischoff went on to say that Honky "couldn't draw flies if he were rolled in horse shit." That's a direct quote, folks.

So, apparently when the official Honky Tonk Man website posted this little blurb:

"Honky Tonk Man is very close to signing a deal with TNA! HTM has been in contact with TNA since early December. More on this breaking news coming in the next few days."

They were rolling in a little horse shit, too.


Helms Pulled from Royal Rumble Match



In a move that can only be viewed as punishment, sources are saying that Shane Helms has been removed from the Royal Rumble match on Sunday Night. Strangely enough, he's been replaced by Matt Hardy. Santino Marella has also been removed from the match, and replaced by Chris Masters.

Randy Orton: "No, no, no. Not Chris."

TMZ caught up with Randy Orton in an airport and asked him about the Shane Helms/Chris Jericho incident.

Randy hadn't heard about it, and he seemed genuinely surprised that Jericho was arrested. Though the news about Helms didn't seem to surprise him as much. The camera man follows Randy like Paparazzi do, causing a mildly humorous exchange. Randy answers the question about "WWE Superstars being the new 'rockstar' guys." The video is below.


More on the Woman That Helms "Assaulted"



More on the Chris Jericho/Shane Helms incident. Which is really just turning into the Shane Helms incident that Jericho was unfortunately present for. Matt Hardy would have been there too but he ran like a pansy.

The women in the incident says it's all a big misunderstanding. According to TMZ:

The woman who took an elbow to the face from WWE star Greg "Hurricane" Helms Wednesday morning claims she has no ill feelings towards the wrestler -- because she was merely collateral damage in a "play fight."

The woman, Ashley Storer, tells TMZ the whole thing went down after her group finished boozing at a local Kentucky bar and crammed into the back of a taxi cab.

Storer claims she somehow got stuck sitting in between Jericho and Helms -- who began play fighting when things "escalated because we were drunk."

Storer claims that's when she took an elbow to the cheek -- and the cab driver pulled over at a nearby gas station. Helms and Jericho were ultimately arrested for being drunk in public -- Storer claims Matt Hardy was completely sober.

Storer also tells us cops blew the situation out of proportion -- but admits she may have exacerbated the situation because, "I was crying and drunk and tired from being out all night and I just wanted to leave."


This will probably blow over. These boys are guilty of having a good time. That's about it.

If You Like Your Women Kinda Crazy...



Torrie Wilson relayed a "funny story" on her Twitter account last night involving a loaded pistol.

Wilson said she was alone in her residence and felt scared, so she pulled out a loaded pistol, took the safety off, and fired a shot into her bathroom which went straight through the ceiling.

"Crazy and glad [I] didn't kill a dog," Wilson wrote.

The former WWE Diva was hospitalized this past October after having a bad reaction to some prescription medication she was taking. Mike Aldren of the Wrestling Globe Newsletter reports that some of Wilson's friends have been worried for her as of late.

The Absolute Opposite of Surprising




Turns out Matt Hardy was involved in the drunken incident with Chris Jericho and Shane Helms.

According to law enforcement sources, Matt Hardy was among a group of people involved in yesterday's early morning incident that led to the arrests of Chris Jericho and Gregory Helms. Witnesses told cops Hardy was in a taxi with Jericho, Helms and several others Wednesday morning when Helms allegedly struck three people — including one female. Witnesses say Hardy took off on foot — just like Helms allegedly did — when the cab driver pulled over at a Kentucky gas station and called 911. Helms came back to the scene and was arrested — but Hardy was gone for good. However, police are not pursuing any sort of action against Hardy.

Does it come as any surprise that Matt Hardy is a shady character? No, it doesn't. His brother is in all this trouble. Helms is a documented head case. They all grow up together and we're supposed to believe Matt is the well rounded one. No, Matt's the one who hasn't been caught.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

False Advertising (Sort of)



Think, McFly, think!


There was a report last week of an Edge / Triple H / John Cena triple threat match billed as the main event for a live Raw show in Lubbock, Texas, in May. Word has now come that there IS no show scheduled for Lubbock in May. The commercial did indeed air, but it was a commercial from four years ago.

In other news... a WWE commercial from four years ago aired and NOBODY NOTICED THE DIFFERENCE. Isn't there something wrong with this picture?

Orton Signs 10 Year Contract



Randy Orton has signed a new long-term contract with World Wrestling Entertainment, reportedly for ten years. He also received a $600,000 payday for working the main event of last year's WrestleMania pay-per-view. No word on what his ten year contract was worth, but some sites are reporting it can be renegotiated after 4 years. His current contract expires in May, with the new contract to begin immediately following. Considering that Randy's birthday is on April 1st, this means that Randy's new contract guarantees that he will be with WWE until he is at least 40 years old.

Get Ready to See a Whole Lot More of This



F4WOnline.com is reporting:

While plans can always change, at last word Triple H was considered the favorite to win the Royal Rumble and receive a title match against Sheamus at WrestleMania. As a result, Sheamus is highly expected to retain his title against Randy Orton this Sunday, leaving Orton to move on to his expected feud with Ted DiBiase.

Shawn Michaels is expected to face Batista at No Way Out to determine who will battle the Undertaker at WrestleMania. It's pretty much a lock that HBK will overcome "The Animal" to setup the obvious, which would leave big interbrand match at WrestleMania as John Cena versus Batista.


Visions of Randy Orton repeatedly shouting "Stupid!" come to mind. I'm trying to formulate a complete and coherent argument regarding all of this.

Sheamus is a TERRIBLE champion. This isn't Sheamus' fault. It's WWE's fault. They let Cena bury him at every turn, and then they let Cena bury Orton - so that'll get us all good and riled up to watch Orton versus Sheamus at the Royal Rumble, except right. Sheamus, the WWE Champion, is just an extra in the John Cena show. While I sort of don't want to see Randy Orton carrying around the Mattel Toy that is the WWE Championship, I'd really rather not see Sheamus carry it around for another month. Again, I don't attribute this to him. I'm sure I could rather like him if WWE didn't make everything about John Cena.

Triple H winning the Royal Rumble feels like same old same old. Now, I know he has't won it nearly as often as I'd like to pretend he has. And I admit that I am a Hunter mark. When he's not running around with Hornswoggle and appeasing every single guest host that comes in the door, I find him very entertaining. But he main evented Wrestlemania last year. I don't care to see it again. Not in a main event with Sheamus. How is that EVEN WrestleMania caliber main eventing? The champion we've been burying for a month now, against a guy who isn't even in contention for a major title right now - he gets to main event WrestleMania? LAME SAUCE.

Granted, after last year, I'm probably going to order Wrestlemania on merit of Taker vs. HBK II - but Batista versus Cena is just two not very good wrestlers getting together and wrestling at Wrestlemania. "Stupid! Stupid!"

As an Orton mark since 2004 - you'll probably be surprised to learn that I don't really care about the fact that he won't be main eventing WrestleMania. He did that last year, and I prefer they not run it into the ground. But a feud with Ted DiBiase? Did the WWE Creative Team not read my short essay on why Randy Orton should turn face? Hello?! He's getting MAD face pop, consistently, at EVERY show the past three weeks even after he allegedly spit on some disabled kid. And you're going to put him in a fued with Ted DiBiase?! Where the heck is my closure on the feud with Kofi?! Give me that first! And I'm all for breaking up Legacy - but a feud with DiBiase doesn't make sense right now. It would have made sense 6 weeks ago when The Marine 2 came out, and Randy had some reason to be jealous, etc. etc. That would have been too easy though, huh? That would have been too freakin' convenient. Does anyone give a care if Ted DiBiase turns face? He's going to run a program with Randy - then go right back to a feud with The Miz. WAIT! See... that I would watch. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE. DiBiase turns face, works into a program with the Miz.

Oh, and for the love of God. Get Ted some acting lessons before you let him within 100 yards of a feud with Randy. Randy can carry him through a match, but you don't want Randy to break kayfabe and call Ted stupid right into a microphone do you? Cause he will. Oh, he will.

Slighty Better News for Jericho



Chris Jericho has been named the 2009 Wrestler of the Year in the 30th annual Wrestling Observer Newsletter readership awards. He is the first wrestler to win the award in consecutive years since Ric Flair in 1990.

The results are as follows:

1. Chris Jericho (269) 1,815
2. Hiroshi Tanahashi (97) 1,057
3. Naruki Doi (51) 751
4. CM Punk (53) 714
5. Randy Orton (67) 692
6. Jeff Hardy (46) 464
7. John Cena (32) 272
8. Davey Richards (11) 268
9. Bryan Danielson (20) 266
10. Kurt Angle (13) 254

So It All Started when Helms Punched Jericho...



The plot is really thickening with our previously reported story about the arrest of Shane Helms and Chris Jericho for public intoxication in Kentucky. TMZ has obtained their mugshots and are reporting Kentucky police officers say witnesses told them Gregory Helms struck three people, including Jericho, a man named Gary Kelley and a female passenger named Ashley Storer, at a gas station.

Helms then allegedly ran from the scene right after the violent incident but returned after, where he and Chris Jericho were arrested for public alcohol intoxication.

Cops say Helms was not arrested for the assault because the alleged victims have not pressed charges, which in Kentucky, must occur if police do not witness the attack.

The female who Gregory Helms allegedly struck does not want to press charges at this time while the male said he's considering it.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Stand back, there's a pair of drunks coming through.

According to several different news sources, Chris Jericho and Gregory Helms were placed under arrest by the Erlanger Police Department of Kenton County, Kentucky, which is in close vicinity to the Smackdown! taping that took place in Cincinnati, Ohio. The two were charged with public intoxication.

Sorry boys, as ridiculous as I think "public intoxication" is as a law, maybe you shouldn't be walking the streets, singing "O Canada" off key, and chucking empty Labatt bottles into the street. At least, not in public anyway.

It has just been brought to my attention that Helms is indeed, not a Canadian. Oh well. More evidence that he sucks at singing "O Canada".

Rob Terry Wins TNA Global Title



As posted on the Dixie-twitter, Rob Terry won the TNA Global Title in front of his hometown crowd at Cardiff, Wales, tonight, finally following up on the whole "Global Title can't be defended on US soil" angle. I'm glad to see bodybuilders with little to no redeeming pro wrestling qualities can hold belts while the Machine Guns continue to languish in curtain-jerk purgatory.

And somehwere, Booker T is still fuming.

Geezer Train Update



With WWE pulling out all their big names from the past, and TNA putting over said big names as legit talent, many more names are floating around the rumor mill. Let's take a look at a few of them and their statuses (statii?).


  • Rob Van Dam - the rumors surrounding RVD to TNA are swirling so viciously that WWE even pulled his account from WWE Universe amidst fears he was about to sign with them. After straightening the record, his account is back. Looks like the rumors are swirling but, thus far, untrue.

  • Tammy "Sunny" Sytch - Sunny was interviewed by Monday Night Mayhem recently where she said that even though she's off TV, she's far from retired. She says she works every weekend, and travels to Europe a few times a year for shows and conventions as well. She says she doesn't want to go back on the road full time, but if Vince called her up and asked her to do some taped segments or some PPV appearances, she'd "abso-freakin-lutely" do it.

  • Ultimate Warrior - In a recent interview with UGO.com, Hulk Hogan addressed the ideas of verious people being brought into TNA, one of which was the One Warrior Nation himself. Said Hogan, "I did a deposition about six months ago where Vince McMahon put out a tape called The Self-Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior. And I did a deposition. I sat in a room across from him. No other wrestler would testify. He thought I was actually going to help him, but when I told the truth...I seriously doubt he and I would ever work together again. I did tell the truth at the deposition. He's the worst. He's horrible. There's nobody worse than him in the ring. So hopefully I'll never have to see him again."

  • Macho Man Randy Savage - In the same interview, Hulkster had this to say about his Mega-Powers brother: "I'd LOVE to see the Macho Man. Dye that old gray Santa Claus beard he's got. Get back in shape. And teach these young guys how to do it because I could sure use his help. He's got a great mind for the business."

  • Honky Tonk Man - Honky has added a TNA logo to his website, and an embedded youtube video from the company. And from various multiple online source, he's "very close" to reaching a deal with the company. The Honk-a-meter is runnin' wild, brother.

  • Sid Vicious - Sid has now taken to facebook to promote an online petition entitled "the hiring of Sid Eudy/Sid Vicious to add to the overall benefit of Total Nonstop Action Wrestling." By doing this rather than, you know, actually talking to his old wrestling contacts, he continues to prove that he has half the brains that you do!

  • Diamond Dallas Page - DDP says he's talked to Bischoff about coming into TNA again to work a short-term program and possibly wrestle again. Thanks to his "yoga for men" business, he's about 25 pounds lighter than he was during his heyday, and more flexible than I ever want to think about DDP being. He says he only wants to do "the Piper thing," coming in for a couple months and disappearing for 9 more. He says he has about 10 good matches left in him, and he doesn't want to just throw them away or just put them out there. And that, my friends, is not a bad thing.... it's a good thing. :D

WrestleMania XXVII Location Narrowed Down


Not coming anywhere near the north any time soon.


The site of WrestleMania XX-7 has reportedly been narrowed down to either Miami or Atlanta. With this year's Survivor Series already booked for Miami, all signs are pointing towards hot-lanta.

Thanks, Vince. Yeah, us people up north don't want to go to Mania once in a while or anything. This would mark the 4th straight year the show's been south of the Mason-Dixon. Although if they do it up in the Georgia Dome, at least it'll be indoors again. An outdoor show once in a while is fun, but the novelty is wearing off fast.

I'll start saving up now. Maybe by Mania 28 I can afford that trip to Buenos Aries, or Mania 29 at the south pole!

Round 2, brother!



While TNA has yet to announce it, Spike TV's schedule is officially listing another live version of TNA iMPACT! for Monday, March 1, at 9PM Eastern (8 Central). The following night would tape 2 more episodes for March 11 and 18, to lead into the Destination X pay per view on the 21st.

I, of course, am excited, but I'm a little disappointed with the schedule. Wouldn't you want the live show to be your go-home for the PPV? As it stands now, there'll be nearly 3 weeks between final impact tapings, and the live PPV. That's a long time for the spoiler-readers to stay excited for it. In fact, I know we're trying to be patient and all, but they have to take this thing live every week sooner than later. The live episode did a 1.5, best rating ever, and that was even up against Bret freakin Hart hosting Raw. March 1 will pit them against Cheech & Chong. Interesting, but at least TNA was smart enough not to schedule this up against the Stone Cold show or something. And the taped shows have been holding steady at 1.2 and 1.3, so now is definitely the time to take that trickle of momentum and, as Dixie likes to proclaim so much, swing for the fences.

Now, if Cheech & Chong suddenly have to "back out," and someone like, say, The Rock steps in? Then we'll know Vince is a little more scared of TNA than he's letting on.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!!?!



A Triple Threat Match between Sheamus, Randy Orton and John Cena for the WWE Championship is being advertised for the Raw taking place the day after WrestleMania at the US Airways Center in Phoenix.

What does it mean? What doessss it mean? Considering that the ending of Raw last night made me not even want to watch this stupid PPV. You saw the ending right? Where a guy that isn't going to win the Royal Rumble, buried the Champion and the guy who's facing him on Sunday night. I literally scoffed. I don't know why I expect anything different really.

Scratch That



The creative team is now leaking their rejected storyline ideas. One being that Michaels and Triple H would tie in the Rumble match, which would allow Michaels to choose Taker and Hunter to choose Sheamus as their respective WrestleMania opponents. The idea was seemingly dropped after creative came up with a new direction.

Other rejected storylines:

Someone new winning the rumble.
Anything that makes sense.
Christian coming to Smackdown.

Although plans can change very quickly in WWE, the idea over the weekend was that Triple H is the favourite to win the Royal Rumble and receive a title match against Sheamus at WrestleMania. His DX partner Shawn Michaels' is expected to face Batista at No Way Out to determine who will battle the Undertaker at WrestleMania. Then the big interbrand match at WrestleMania would pit John Cena against Batista.

Ah, Triple H would like his toy back now. Cena, Orton, Sheamus... you're all relegated to the mid-card at Wrestlemania. Sorry.

Cena isn't Raw enough.

NOT going to happen.


Going into more detail about his plans for guest hosting WWE Raw, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson intimated during a Live Audio Wrestling interview that if he were to guest host the WWE's flagship program, he would want to "rip up" the current product and infuse some Attitude Era content into the show to entertain the fans. He mentioned that he's still in talks with Vince on how they can accomplish this on the current watered down kids show that we all subject ourselves to every week.

In a related note, when interviewer asked (once again) if Dwayne Johnson would be interested in wrestling John Cena, "The Rock" had this to say:

“I’ve never been interested in wrestling John Cena. The guys I wrestled in the past – from Goldberg to Hogan to Austin – were guys who I’ve really wanted to wrestle. If it can be done creatively but not only that, it’s very important if I do back is that the writing has to be ripped open and really be pushed,” Johnson said. “I came from a time in the Attitude era where we trail-blazed a lot and were fearless in the things we said and did.”

Let me see if I got this. John Cena isn't fearless? What about the Attitude Adjustment on the Big Show? WE'VE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE! Remember the days when you could take a wrestling legend from the past, pair them up with the current big league superstar from the present and say "Man, that'd be my dream match." (Hulk Hogan vs. The Rock at Mania, anyone?) Yeah, those days are over. When I think of The Rock vs. John Cena, I wonder what else is on television. These are sad times.

Jeff and Shannon Teaming in TNA?



These tattooed karaokeing freaks might have a team name in TNA. Jeff Hardy reportedly tweeted the following within the last couple days (though it seems to have been taken down since then): "HeavensDemons...airhedge&itchweeed ready to hitTNA with some shockfactor..you dig thy name...HeavensDemons?"

Heaven's Demons. Eh, it's better than Imagi-Punks, right?

AJ Styles is a smart man.



In a recent interview with the UK's tabloid extraordinaire The Sun, AJ Styles went on record claiming that he never wants to work for WWE based on their "backstabbing" nature.

"I'm going to tell you what I know as the main difference between the two companies," says the man who is famous simply for being AJ Styles. "Desmond and I are going to work together to make this company the best, for everybody. Whereas in the other company they will stab each other in the back to get themselves to the next level. It's not about me. It's about us in TNA."

It's a great sentiment, and I hope it's true. It definitely sounds like the kind of pro-TNA/anti-WWE rhetoric that everyone from the company is spitting these days, but it also seems like it can be very true. Maybe it's just the smaller atmosphere, but TNA does have more of that homey feel, like they really are just one tight-knit family while WWE is a bunch of people looking out for themselves. TNA is Breen's Hardware Store, and WWE is Wal-Mart.

But here's the smart thing: in TNA, AJ Styles can be THE guy. In WWE, he'd be Evan Bourne. Let's ask Christian how that jump from main event player to "champion of the developmental show" went for him.

AJ and Desmond Wolfie (thank you Pope) go on to talk about the transition from the 6-sided ring back to the traditional setup, as well as Hogan, Flair, and Bischoff joining TNA, and what fans can expect from the forthcoming UK tour.

In related "may or may not be true because anybody with a lick of pro wrestling knowledge could look at the situation and make the same assumption" news, f4wonline.com reports that AJ might be in line for a makeover, dying his hair blonde for this partnership with Ric Flair and the ongoing "new Naitch" angle.

Brian's Tangent: Look, I've seen a lot of uproar amongst the online crowd already about AJ teaming with Flair, and how AJ "isn't like Flair" and should be left alone and left to just be "The Phenomenal" AJ Styles. Here's where I take issue with that -- AJ's nothing like Flair? THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT. Flair is taking somebody with potential, somebody who has the physical skills but not the attitude or the look or anything else, and molding him, giving him the tools he needs to break on through to the next level. Let's face it, AJ Styles has been AJ Styles for 7 and a half years, he's been the face of TNA Wrestling for the majority of that time (some could argue that Jeff Jarrett is the face of the franchise, or that Kurt Angle has become the biggest name, but AJ's been the go-to-guy since the inception). Big fish in a smaaaall pond. AJ Styles, as he's been, feels like a guy who's poised to bust out huge and never does. Ask any joe schmoe casual wrestling fan off the street, and they won't know who AJ Styles is. He NEEDS something to push him over the top, something to bring the collective public's attention to who he is. If he's ever going to get the mainstream respect that he so rightfully deserves, who better to manage him than one of THE most recognizable names in wrestling history? Even people who don't follow wrestling know "WOOO" and the "limousine ridin, jet flyin" routine. AJ Styles isn't good on the mic? Feels out of place acting like Flair? Yes, he does. And he's SUPPOSED TO FEEL THAT WAY RIGHT NOW. Give this partnership time, and if it's done right, he'll slowly grow into the "next Nature Boy skin" and become more comfortable with it. AJ's time with Christian has already shown us that he has the chops to play a convincing heel (his cocky smirk is tailor made for it), so sit back, relax, and enjoy the transformation.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Sorry, I'm not going to miss this.

In a KISS-FM radio station interview in San Antonio, Texas, Shawn Michaels has mentioned casually that Degeneration X will "probably" break up after the Royal Rumble, so that both Michaels and Hunter can begin focusing on their respective singles matches at Wrestlemania.

To all of you die hard DX marks, you have my condolences. I for one will not miss the way they come out every single week in the same fashion, wearing $34,000 worth of souvenir stand DX gear. They may as well roll out an entire kiosk to the ring when "Break it Down" hits the PA.

Hey, maybe they'll let John Cena come out every week and celebrate with the guest host at the close of the show. Wouldn't that be splendid?

Friday, January 22, 2010

Christian... Christian! At Last....



A draft will take place after Wrestlemania with a lot of mid-card movement expected. According to "WWE insiders" Evan Bourne is the top name being talked about for a move to Smackdown to get himself involved in the IC Title scene. A lot of the ECW workers will be moved to new shows, with talks that Christian may reunite with Edge on Raw. Which means Edge might be moving to Raw (squeal!). ECW will become a developmental show (more than it currently is anyway). One of the names for the new show being talked about is WWE "Futures."

He's Not a Jerk, He Just REALLY likes Kayfabe!


You know you needed to see this again.


WWE is said to be glossing over the allegations fired at Randy Orton by a young fan's parent, and his statement about the incident In fact WWE insiders say that Orton is very "old school" in his wrestling mentality, and growing up in a wrestling family he actually keeps kayfabe in public. Many are saying that Orton ends up with these incidents all the time, many just don't become so public. Officials privately "love" his actions because of how serious he takes his character outside of the ring.

Jeff's Fragile Little Feelings are Hurt!




Source: Wrestling Observer Newsletter

There are conflicting reports about Jeff Hardy’s status with TNA Wrestling. Hardy made his return to TNA back on the live January 4th Monday night show but has not been featured prominently on television in recent weeks.

Sources within TNA are saying that Hardy has signed a contract, while friends of Hardy have said he's told them he's working without a deal. The fact Hardy hasn’t appeared with TNA since January 4th could indicate that he hasn’t signed or committed to any dates.

In related Jeff Hardy news, he was said to be upset at the recent segments on WWE’s SmackDown where CM Punk used his name in promos to get himself over when Hardy is not even in WWE anymore to defend himself.

Despite Hardy's legal problems and his appearances for TNA, WWE still wants him back down the road.

Spicing Things Up



TNA might be running the same Angle versus Jarrett storyline they've been running for the last two years, but a positive thing is that Karen Angle has been visiting backstage. (Some rumors indicate she and Kurt are back together, but they have kids... maybe they just try to get along.) Jeff Jarrett is very interested in brining Karen in to add a new element to the feud with Kurt. A move which I would reward by watching the program, since Karen Angle is a vindictive, awesome character.

Shelley Battling Serious Injuries



In news that can only be called unfortunate: TNA officials were planning a feud between The Motor City Machineguns and Generation Me, but Alex Shelley is battling serious problems with his back and neck which could cause him to miss significant ring time.

Former WWE Diva to TNA



Filed under my I seriously do not care tab:

Former WWE Diva Ashley Massaro attended the Survivor finale red carpet event held two weeks ago and was telling people that she's had discussions with Dixie Carter about working for TNA. Though there is a good chance she will ultimately wind up in the company, it's not expected to be imminent.

Let Me Entertain You



The Rock is once again teasing his return to WWE. In an interview with Sports Illustrated, to promote his new movie The Tooth Fairy (which comes out today), the Rock says... (muhahahaha, see what I did there?)

"I've remained close with Vince McMahon over the years, but here's the key. It's not just to go back and host. I don't want to do that. I want to go back and host and do something special. I want to entertain the fans in ways they haven't been entertained in years."


This is exciting! Granted, if he entertains us at ALL... it will be in a way we haven't been entertained in years.

She's Gone Country




A press release was sent out yesterday announcing that WWE Diva Mickie James is now an official member of The American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers (ASCAP). The organization tracks and protects artists' royalties and compensation. The press release noted that Mickie's first album is almost complete and that she co-wrote several of the songs on the album. The album is expected to be completed this week with the first single hitting the radio in February. Mickie has recorded a country album.

Awesome Kong to Leave TNA



In a story that is still developing. Awesome Kong and Alissa Flash have both given their notice to TNA. There has been no official reason given.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Randy tells you... the rrrrEST of the story



Regarding the story involving Randy Orton allegedly assaulting a fan, here's Randy's own words, from his website via the Wrestling Observer Newsletter.


“Here’s what happened: I walked out of Kowloon’s Friday night around 12:30-1 a.m. with Santino and a police officer escort. As I was being rudely hounded for pictures and autos (I had a 6:40 a.m. flight through Minni to Lincoln, then a drive to Omaha, a match, a drive back to Omaha, then a charter to Minni, and a driver to Rochester for the next show the next day, btw), I was confronted by an older women who said: ‘Hey Randy, you spit on my handicapped son a few years ago at a show, what do you have to say about that?’ My replay...`So Sue me.’ Then I proceeded to my car, with Santino and the cop and drove back to our hotel by the Boston airport. I know I have been a bit of a hothead in the past, but I DID NOT spit gum and call names to any child. The women is claiming I called her son a `retard’ 3 times, and spit gum in his face. Come on people, even at my worst temperament, I would never call a handicapped child something awful like that. I’ll actually sign anything for any child with any disability. I heard just today from WWE attorneys that this women filed assault charges against me 4 days later? Hmmm, oh, and what about the dozens of cops at the restaurant that were there for crowd control since there were over 100 wrestling fans there? Not to mention the cop that escorted me to my freaking car. I’ll be happy when this is over. I guess if I’ve learned anything from this, it is not to ever challenge anyone to sue me.”


And an eyewitness sides with Randy, as quoted from pwinsider:

A witness, Stephen Addonizio has come forward with a different story. Addonizio noted that he was sitting in a car with his sister in the parking lot of Kowloon's, a Chinese restaurant well known to be visited by WWE performers when in the New England area, at the time of the alleged incident. Addonizio said Orton ignored requests for autographs and when the youth who brought the charges against Orton yelled something derogatory at him, Orton turned to respond when other wrestlers pulled him back and towards their car. “He just kept walking past them and got into his car,” Addonizio said, noting Orton never came into contact with anyone.


So, let's try and make some heads or tails of this. The lady is attempting to sue Orton and bring charges against him over something that allegedly happened several years ago, just because he snubbed her and her son for an autograph now?

Either way, I think we're all missing the bigger picture here. Randy Orton hangs out with Santino in real life. With news of WWE Studios taking over their own production and wanting to throw down on something like 15 movies back to back, I hereby demand an Orton/Santino buddy cop flick. Especially if they're in character. And especially if they fight all the time.

Santino: SHUDDUPAYOFACE!
Randy: SHUTCHERMOUTH!
Santino: SHUDDUPAYOFACE!
Randy: SHUTCHERMOUTH!
Santino: SHUDDUPAYOFACE!
Randy: SHUTCHERMOUTH!
Santino: SHUDDUPAYOFACE!
Randy: *RKO*
Santino: ........
Randy: STUPID, STUPID... STUPID!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Serena Deeb Update



Courtesy of the Hurri-Twitter, we have a picture of the freshly shorn Serena Deeb (or Maria Mancini, or whatever random name they pull out of a hat to call her that will invariably be better than "Deeb"). And you can also follow her on twitter as well, @SeneraDeeb. Not a horrible look, I'd say. It DID kind of work for Roxxi (though she was far more interesting with big poofy hair as the Voodoo Queen). We shall watch Smackdown this week and see how it goes down...

Awesome! Wait, No. Awesome! Umm... no.



Never before have I been so conflicted.

WWE will be releasing a new movie called Big Red soon about a boy growing up in the 1960's. Word is that Randy Orton will be starring in the movie but it's not clear yet who he will be playing. The plot for the movie reads like this:

"In 1965, as the world changes all around him, 12-year-old Andy Nichol comes of age when he's asked by his favorite teacher, Mr. Simon, to partner with school outcast Big Red for an English assignment."


I'm all over Randy Orton on the big screen. Assuming this movie doesn't go straight to DVD. But here's the question. Randy doesn't play a 12 year old, so he's either playing the socially retarded school outcast who is still in 7th grade "Big Red" or Mr. Simon, the English Teacher. Lord knows, when I think of Randy Orton - a guy who cannot even say the word "interested" correctly, I think of an English Teacher. (What he lacks in diction, he makes up for in...everything else.) God knows my English Teacher, Mr. Knogle, looked JUST LIKE Randy Orton. Wouldn't Matt Striker be better suited for this role? Really... WWE misses the mark AGAIN. You need to put Randy Orton in a movie, with GUNS and things that BLOW UP.

I don't want to see Randy Orton in a heart warming tale about anything. I want to see Randy Orton doing some Jack Bauer Shit. Yeah, I said it! Also, does Randy know he has to wear pants in this thing? Just wondering.

In Case You Hadn't Heard: Taker is Old



Many within WWE are very concerned about The Undertaker’s body and how much longer he can wrestle. WWE’s World Heavyweight champion is a shell of his former self these days, clearly in pain as he moves around and no longer possessing the agility that has made him such an impressive “big man” wrestler over the years. After the WrestleMania classic he and Shawn Michaels put on last year, its believed that Shawn Michaels will have to do a great deal of bumping around to save this year’s rematch from being a total letdown.

Well it certainly is a good thing that Shawn Michaels isn't old too. Oh, wait.

Edge Ahead of Schedule - Returning at Royal Rumble



Heel Lovers of the World REJOICE!

WWE superstar Edge will be returning from injury well ahead of schedule. Edge is currently doing physical rehabilitation following foot surgery last year and WWE officials expect him to be healthy in time to appear at the Royal Rumble in 2 weeks. The plan is for Edge to wrestle his former tag team partner Chris Jericho and WrestleMania and there is talk of Edge showing up as a surprise entrant in the Rumble to eliminate Jericho. However it goes down, Edge will be back soon to start his program with Jericho.

Wonder What She Looks Like Bald!



Former Indy Women's Wrestler Serena Deeb has been going by the name Maria Mancini in WWE Developmental, and according to spoiler reports she has been brought up to join CM Punk's Straight Edge Entourage. She portrays a fan trying desperately to reach Punk, going as far to make it up the ramp before a security guard stops her. However, Punk tells the guard to let her go and allows her to enter the ring. Following his trademark long-winded speech, Punk proceeds to shave her head bald.

*yawn*

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

TNA Fans Are "Cast Members"

http://impactwrestling.com/Content.aspx?ID=31081
(I did have the video embedded here, but I couldn't get it to stop autoplaying. And that's just lame.)

As a hardcore shameless TNA apologist, I've been trying for hours to find a way to justify this. And I just can't. The only thing missing from this speech is a "know your role and shut your mouth."

Look, I get that you're trying to put forth a product and tell a story to the people at home. I get that you need the crowd to react a certain way in order to tell that story. But if the crowd isn't reacting the way you want them to, then maybe this isn't a story you should be telling, huh? Sean Morley (who's been off of TV for how many years now?) going over one of your own home grown cornerstones? Brian Kendrick coming out of nowhere to get an X-Division title shot in his first appearance in the company rather than some of the guys who have busted their tails for years (Shelley, Sabin, Lethal, Kaz) for your company?

I understand you're trying to go in a new direction. But when you're fixing a car, you don't tear out all the parts that are still good and replace them with broken down rusty parts out of a junkyard, you replace the stuff that DOESN'T work. 8-man X-Division spotfests are the kind of thing that sets TNA apart from WWE, and that seems to be your main thrust in this whole thing. So why in the green hell are you tearing down everything that DID set you apart (6-sided ring included, even though I do like the return of the squared circle) and just turning yourself into WWE lite?!

Sigh. I hoped for the best here, but just a few weeks in, and Hogan's already flushing TNA down the crapper. Are we sure he's not Vince's hired gun?

Bubba Got His Ass Kicked By A Girl!



Reports are that Awesome Kong legit attacked Bubba the Love Sponge (ugh, still hate that name) backstage at Monday's iMPACT! tapings over his "fuck Hati" [sic] comments on Twitter the other day.

Bubba got his ass kicked by a girl. All together now...

BAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Nevermind that this is the most terrifying girl this side of Rex. Bubba deserved some comeuppance for his epic d-baggery over those comments.

In all seriousness, by all accounts, Ms. Kong is one of the most gentle, kind, compassionate young ladies you'll find in the business, and I'm a proud fan. She's been throwing a lot of time and effort into organizing help for the Haitians, and I applaud her for doing so. Awesome King is Awesome.

Just don't get on her bad side, or you may end up flat on your back like the ridiculous puke that Bubba is.

Vince McMahon Takes Over WWE Studios



WWE Chairman and CEO Vince McMahon is taking full control over WWE Studios after ending distribution relationships with Lionsgate and 20th Century Fox, according to an article from entertainment industry publication Variety. WWE will now be able to "fully own and exploit" all aspects of its movies.

WWE has announced new partnerships with Samuel Goldwyn Films for theatrical releases and Vivendi Entertainment for DVD releases, but Vince McMahon says WWE has "learned a great deal" about the business to handle all aspects of movie making.

"This is an opportunity for us to completely control everything from the production all the way through to release," McMahon said. "We're putting our money where our mouth is."

WWE plans to film nine movies by 2012. All filming will take place in the city of New Orleans, which will save WWE a bundle in production costs due to the city's tremendous tax breaks. To crank out 9 movies by 2012, WWE plans to film the movies one after the other, with minimal down time in between.

McMahon also said one of main reasons they want to control the production and distribution of WWE movies is to better market each film toward their TV audience. He admits WWE hasn't done a great job working with other distributors.

"There's a much larger number that we're not reaching," McMahon said. "We have the resources, we just need to leverage all of it. There are so many different things that we can do."

We Be Poppin'



ODB has been working with a ruptured implant as of late, which explains why she pulled a falsie out during the conclusion of her Genesis bout with Tara. The injury occurred a few weeks ago, but she managed to pull through. She worked this week's set of television tapings and will be getting surgery to correct the problem in the next week or so. In other news, I loved ODB. Really, I do. She's what every classy woman wishes she could be. She's great.

No Contract



Ken Anderson tweeted about his time in TNA, saying he was so thankful to his fans and the team. Sources indicate that Ken Anderson is working a show by show basis with TNA and does not have a long term contract. He was at the TV tapings, and is expected to appear on at least two upcoming episodes of Impact!

Nearly Half of the Rumble Participants Have Been Announced

14 Participants Have Been Announced for the Royal Rumble - and none of them are from Smackdown or ECW. The current list is...

Big Show
Carlito
Cody Rhodes
Evan Bourne
Jack Swagger
John Cena
Kofi Kingston
Mark Henry
MVP
Santino Marella
Shawn Michaels
Ted DiBiase
The Miz
Triple H

If this match were happening tonight, with these 14 participants, I would say it's Triple H's win - with Shawn going on to do the solo thing against Undertaker at Royal Rumble. In fact this scenario is completely plausible with another 16 people added to the mix. In a perfect world, Miz would win the Royal Rumble. But I won't even talk about it, because it's about a 100% Not Likely on the Likely Scale.

Other matches already announced for the Royal Rumble:

Undertaker (c) vs. Rey Mysterio (World Heavyweight Championship Match)- I'm looking for Rey to win this one. Undertaker goes on to fight Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania - so the streak is broken without disrupting the world title contenders and Shawn and Undertaker can take their six month vacation after Wrestlemania.

- Sheamus (c) vs. Randy Orton (WWE Championship Match)- I'm terribly undecided on this match. I need another week of Raw to form a real opinion. If WWE wants to keep Randy heel, he wins here. If they turn Orton face, he loses here, and *shudder* helps John Cena win the title. (And my brain explodes.)

- Christian (c) vs. Ezekiel Jackson (ECW Championship Match)- I don't watch this show.

More News on Shane McMahon



TheSun.co.uk. has a new interview up with Big Show to promote the WWE Royal Rumble pay-per-view. During the interview, Big Show was asked about the future plans of his friend, former WWE employee Shane McMahon:

"Shane is a lot like his dad. Vince struck away from his dad and ended up buying him out. Shane is the type that wants to follow his own path and he is going to do fine. I don't see Shane starting up a rival wrestling company, but he wanted to do some Mixed Martial Arts thing then maybe. If Shane wanted to work on a production company for movies then that can happen too. Shane is a very charismatic, intelligent man, a very driven person, so whatever avenue he chooses to go into he is going to be very successful at it. He cant ask for anymore than that."

Despite the fact that Shane has been groomed his entire life to have an executive role in World Wrestling Entertainment, Show understands that Shane has to be his own man and do what's right for him.

"We all work together and there are a lot of guys that really love him and he loves them too. But we are business men and grown men too. There comes a time where every man has to make a decision for himself and his family and everyone respects that."

Sunday, January 17, 2010

There Are No Divas Here... except Hall and Waltman


Oozing more than machismo these days...


According to Nick Paglino at WrestleZone, sources within TNA are saying that Scott Hall is claiming a groin injury and is off of tonight's Genesis card. The real reason? He recently put on his wrestling trunks for the first time and was concerned at how his body looked and begged to be removed from the card. The spot went to Waltman, but he sounds a little iffy as well. The contingency plan is to slot Eric Young in the spot if Waltman no-shows.

Here's how I imagine this all went down:

Scott Hall: Hey yo. Do these trunks make me look fat?
Kevin Nash: No, your face does.
Scott Hall: Uhhhh.... *runs away crying*
Sean Waltman: I, uh... better go check on him. Yeah... *looks around nervously before sprinting after Hall*
Kevin Nash: ....shit.
Eric Young: *pops up from behind garbage can* I can has spot in nwo?! :D
Kevin Nash: ....shit.

No Dice



Seems Jeff's legal problems have changed a few things and sources say neither Jeff Hardy or Shannon Moore are backstage tonight. Shannon's deal with the company is pretty much a done thing, however, because of Jeff's woes the "creative team" needed a little more time to work out Shannon's direction.

All signs indicate that the Moore-Ons aren't getting Punk'd tonight.

Ken Anderson is IN THE BUILDING!

'

More leaks from the Impact! Zone as fans and backstage sources say that Ken Anderson is backstage, geared up and on the show outline for tonight! Look for Mr. Anderson to make his TNA Debut at Genesis!

Kendrick to Debut on TNA tonight!



Sources inside the Impact! Zone say that Brian Kendrick will debut tonight at Genesis.
He is rumored to return as Amazing Red's unannounced opponent for tonight's X Division Championship Match.

Kendrick was released from his WWE contract on July 30, 2009. He has been working independent wrestling shows in the meantime.

Eric Escobar has Been Canned



WWE came to terms on the release of Eric Escobar today. Since Eric was the main reason Vickie Guerrero returned to the WWE, this may also be the end of Vickie's second run with the company.

I for one would mark out to see Vickie on TN-eh!