Monday, November 15, 2010

Frustrated Incorporated.

Hey kids, Brian here. The ol' blog has kind of gone by the wayside as of late -- we have/had plans to expand this blog into a full-blown news site of our very own, but life has gotten in the way and it's not off the ground yet. But I have a little wrestling-related frustration to vent about, and with nowhere else to really put it, I figured I'd throw it here.

My problem, once again, is with WWE. And before we start, I'm just as frustrated at TNA these days, so it's not my TNA-bias at work. What it is, is an upcoming main event that's left me baffled. Next week, at one of the big 4 PPVs of the year, the company's biggest star is going to be the referee. Okay, I suppose I could live with that, he's still involved in the main event. But let's dissect this Barrett - Cena - Orton thing, shall we?

John Cena lost to Barrett, and was forced to join Nexus. Check. As a part of "being a member of Nexus," Cena has to do Barrett's bidding. A little bit of a stretch, as the others aren't nearly as subservient to him, but okay, check. Now Barrett has a title shot against Randy Orton, and Cena will be his referee. I don't know who gave Barrett the authority to name his own referees, but... okay, I'll bite. Check. Now, if Cena doesn't make 100% sure that Barrett leaves that match with the title, Cena will be guilty of "not following orders," which means he's not living up to his end of the deal as a member of Nexus, and he'll be subsequently fired.

HOLD UP.

Last time I checked, Wade Barrett was not the anonymous GM. Where in the blue hell did Barrett get the authority to not only name his own personal referee for a title match, but declare right out in front of God and everybody that that referee has to cheat for him? Why, in any realm of existence, would the GM stand idly by and watch something like "you will cheat for me, or you will be fired" and act like it's okay?

Furthermore -- in what realm of existence would John Cena have ANY reason to feel bad about screwing Randy Orton? Do we forget that Orton's the one who punted Cena Sr. in the SKULL? Tried to out-and-out MURDER his father?



Yes, yes we do.


So John Cena is supposed to choose between (A) cheating to help get the title from one person he's never gotten along with onto another, which will let him keep his job AND be free of his shackles with Nexus AND more than likely set up a Cena-Barrett title match sooner than later, or (B) uphold the honor and integrity of the WWE Title by sacrificing his entire career to keep it out of Barrett's hands (for now). And they're basing an entire Big 4 Pay-Per-View Main Event on this shit?

So in one company, you get this, and in another, you get another tired retread of the NWO, with Jeff Hardy carrying around a new belt that looks even worse than the Divas Title. Man, being a wrestling fan SUCKS right now.

- Brian

PS -- concerning "Old School Raw" tonight. WHY TONIGHT?! Tonight is the go-home show for said PPV. Putting this "old school Raw" on tonight means that one of two things is going to happen. One, an idea which COULD be completely and totally magical and emotional and flat-out awesome on so many levels will be compromised by sharing time with the storylines that lead into this PPV. Or two, the go-home show for the PPV will have nothing to do with the PPV. Couldn't they have found another night far away from PPV hype that could have been used to put on this show totally free from the normal canon? Le sigh. Old School Raw will either be really special, or really stupid. And basing it on the last couple years of WWE programming, I'm leaning towards the latter.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Snitsky in a Clown Costume.



There's no news to be had here. It's just Gene Snitsky in a clown costume, courtesy of his twitter account.

You're welcome! :D

Friday, May 28, 2010

R-Truth Keeps His Pimp Hand STRONG.





During last week's Over The Limit pay-per-view, Ted DiBiase suffered a concussion.

When R-Truth slapped him across the face.

According to people who claim to know what they're talking about, DiBiase was slated to blame Virgil for his loss that night, but because of Ron's Pimp Hand Of Steel and Ted's concussed brain, they "called an audible." We can expect to see Ted kept out of the ring for a few weeks for his head to recover.



COLD-BLOODED.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Cuttin' Their Losses


Yep, I posted it.

It appears as if Dixie Carter will be practicing her Vince McMahon voice within the coming weeks. TNA is rumored to be preparing to release upwards of 15 - 20 superstars as part of a large cost cutting initiative. This news comes off the heels of TNA's decision to move back to Thursday nights.

In a radio interview on Monday, Jeremy Borash spoke about the rumored initiative. He had this to say when asked about the roster cuts.

"I don't know if you look at it as roster cuts. You don't say anything or we don't hear anything about when we spend more money to hire people. When you say 'roster cuts,' it obviously invokes an 'oooh' kind of feeling to it," Borash said. "At the same time, we have 60-something people under contract, so I think it's a natural evolution of business. Sometimes you do have to trim the fat. The programs are being written differently where less people are being featured more prominently."

I've heard better spin doctoring from Miss Cleo.

Hulk Hogan has a documented distaste for lighter competitors, so it would be assumed that a large portion of the X-Division is in danger of losing their jobs. One can only hope that those who have tenure in the company can weather this latest storm.

Monday, May 24, 2010

STUPID, STUPID... STUPID!



RKOwned.


During last night's "Rated RKO Explodes" edition of WWE Over The Limit, Randy Orton dislocated his right shoulder... by punching the mat.

Okay, so it's likely that it was hurt earlier in the match and pounding the mat just exacerbated the problem (and it's also likely that I just went out of my way to use the word "exacerbated"), but still. That's almost on the level of Vince tearing his quad walking to the ring at the Rumble 05.

Okay, but for real? Randy Orton is amazing. When he was in Evolution, I thought of him as nothing more than a big cocky frat boy and I wanted him to disappear. When he finally shaved his head, got some tattoo sleeves, and started getting all crazy, it was a 180ยบ turnaround and I've been on board ever since. I'm glad that it was "only" a separated shoulder, as that seems to be a relatively minor injury -- but let's hope that's all it is, and Randy can get back to kicking people in the skull and being awesome before we realize he was gone.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Michael Benoit Trashes Linda's Senate Campaign





The Hartford Courant has today published this article written by Michael Benoit, father of the late Chris Benoit, arguing against Linda McMahon's bid for one of Connecticut's U.S. Senate seats. In the article, Benoit claims, quite simply, that nobody should support McMahon's campaign because of what happened to his son, and the way she's using what amounts to blood money to support her campaign. Today, I'd like to do a point-counterpoint on Mr. Benoit's concerns.

Watching from afar, I've observed with interest the U.S. Senate campaign in Connecticut because of my experiences with Linda McMahon and her business, World Wrestling Entertainment. While she spends millions of dollars earned through her professional wrestling empire to flood Connecticut's airwaves and mailboxes promoting her Republican candidacy, state voters should know there is another side to McMahon and the WWE.

My son, Chris Benoit, 40, was one of WWE's top superstars. In June 2007, our lives changed dramatically, when he tragically killed his wife, son and himself. The press jumped on steroids as the cause of his actions. But tests showed that brain damage in the form of Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy, or CTE, not steroids, was responsible for our loss. CTE, caused by repetitive trauma to the brain, can bring on serious disorders such as a loss of emotional control, addictions to drugs and alcohol, depression, aggressive and violent behavior.

Firstly, let's not get it twisted. Christopher Michael Benoit, the man, the human being, did not kill himself and his family. Chris Benoit, the mentally-ill-from-amityville brain damaged humanoid monster was the killer. This is not to excuse what happened, it's just my own firm belief that were it not for his state of mind / brain damage / mental illness, Chris Benoit, in his right mind, would have never done what he did. I also believe that had he still had Eddie Guerrero in his life, he would have remained more balanced.

Most people view wrestling as fake and the McMahon family pushed that theory to avoid regulation. But in its lust for higher ratings and dollars, WWE began demanding that performers use more weapons and dangerous stunts in wrestling matches. Although matches are rigged and scripted, the harsh physical abuse in the form of blunt force steel chair shots to the head and power bombs through tables onto cement floors are real. I believe that this change in the industry is responsible for the majority of deaths it experienced in the last 20 years.

Another WWE wrestler, Andrew Martin, was 33 when he died. What did Andrew Martin have in common with my son? He was one of many of McMahon's former wrestlers who died prematurely, and he was the second wrestler to have his brain examined for signs of CTE after death. Martin had the same shocking brain damage as my son. The human skull is not designed to withstand and protect the brain from the abuse the McMahon's insisted their wrestlers endure. Yet, since the late '80s, these are the matches into which the McMahon's have pushed their talent.

Again, let's not get it twisted -- nobody held a gun to these men's heads. They were there of their own volition, in their OWN quest for money and fame and notoriety, taking risks and doing things that any half-educated idiot could tell were dangerous. And hurt. ALSO, let's not forget that Chris probably did his swandive headbutt finisher thousands of times in WCW and ECW, in the latter of which he participated in far more gruesome and harrowing matches than WWF/E ever allowed even at their peak of "Attitude."

USA Today in 2004 published research stating that wrestlers are 20 times more likely to die before the age of 45 than are pro football players. What has the McMahon family done to make pro wrestling safer? They will spend up to $50 million to get Linda elected to a position where she could head off any effort to regulate their business.

The WWE and Linda McMahon evade any responsibility for the early deaths that their industry suffers at an astronomical rate. After the Martin tests were completed, I sought to educate the McMahons about the scientific findings on brain trauma and how their wrestling stunts could cause this serious and fatal health issue. They were having none of it. It was clear, the McMahons were more interested in making hundreds of millions of dollars at the expense of these wrestlers, whom they regard as little more than circus animals to be ridden until their value expires.

Which is exactly why they do things like offer to foot the entire bill for any current or former employee who needs rehab for chemical/substance abuse, eh? Or why they've gone back to the PG rating, banned chairshots to the head, even banned bleeding which is a longtime staple of professional wrestling?

On CNN in 2007, Vince McMahon, Linda's husband, said they had stopped wrestlers from smashing each other's heads with chairs. That practice, however, was not ended until January of this year — scores of "head shots" later. There are still all sorts of weapons and stunts that the McMahons use to equally dangerous effect. For a sport that is "fake," there is an all too disturbing reality.

A reality that every grown-ass man on that roster knows about before they walk in and accept the paycheck. I'm not saying it's not dangerous. I'm just saying these men (and women) know what they're getting into, and choose to live the lifestyle.

You might say that these young wrestlers make their own choices, and that is true. And the McMahons entice them with prospects for fame, wealth and glory that few achieve. If this were any other business or sport, there would be congressional hearings and laws passed to reform this dirty and dangerous enterprise. The McMahons have steadfastly held that wrestlers are just independent contractors and not entitled to health care benefits, pensions or unionization to represent their best interests.

I will grant you that one. I don't really believe in the "independent contractor" thing, especially since these guys sign contracts to perform exclusively with WWE. But at the same time, can you imagine the cost of health care for these guys? The premiums alone would be incredible. And I don't see anybody in that billion dollar industry tearing a quad and NOT going to the best sports surgeon in the world, Dr. James Andrews. Vince knows how to take care of his talent.

This is how Linda McMahon made the money she uses for her Senate race. This is how she ran her business. This is the true character behind the fancy, Hollywood advertisements. I pray the people of Connecticut do not allow her to buy her way into the world's most distinguished legislative body.

I'm not even going to touch how the "world's most distinguished legislative body" has been mired by scores of sex scandals, fraud, and general ridiculousness. Am I completely wrong, or aren't there limits on the amount of personal money one can use in a campaign? I don't believe Linda's "buying" her way into anything - no matter how much money she has, she still has to get people to vote for her. Donald Trump has billions, but he's batshit crazy and so is anyone who would vote him into anything.


Look, Mr. Benoit, I understand that you're frustrated about what happened to your son, and looking for answers. I know that it's easy to point to the McMahons as enablers to the lifestyle that your son participated in and that ultimately led to his murder-suicide tragedy. But Chris has to be responsible for Chris. Whether he was in his right mind or not, he's the one who chose to do what he did. And he's the one who chose his lifestyle, and continued to choose to do it until his brain became as damaged as it was. I, too, am sad at the incredible death rate of those who participate in the professional wrestling industry, but I don't blame the promoters or the owners of the companies for their deaths. Nobody's sitting them down shoving pills down their throats or telling them they can't walk away from the business. Look at Dwayne Johnson, who parlayed his monumental success as "The Rock" into a semi-lucrative movie career. Look at Matt Striker, who stuck with the business in an on-screen announcer role rather than withstand the physical toils of the ring. Look at John Cena who, hate his character as I may, works a safe style and takes care of himself and his opponents. I don't know much about Linda's campaign and/or what platform she's running on, but if you want to tear her down for that, fine. But don't label her as evil because your son couldn't handle the business.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Call off the Oscar race... NOW.



Not Pictured: Dramatic David Caruso Shades Removal Scene


OMG. OMG OMG OMG. Check out this trailer and how incredibly craptastic this movie looks! Sheriff Angle pursuing Zombie Nash and Zombie Sid? On what looks to be a Blair Witch budget? We may have just found the single worst wrestlers-in-a-movie ever.



(If embed doesn't work, go here.)

Is it wrong of me to be so geeked out about such a potentially horrendous movie?

Push it back, Shove it back, Waaaaay back!





According to well-placed sources at tnawrestlingnews.com, Jeff Hardy's court date has once again been delayed. A few days ago, he appeared in the Moore County courthouse with his lawyer and was once again able to delay his trial, this time to June 3. And I, for one, hope it gets delayed one more time -- I'm more than likely going to a TNA house show on June 5, and I want to see Jeff Hardy, dammit!

I mean, really. Intent to sell? The guy's made some huge bank with WWE, why in the world would he have any reason to sell drugs? It does not make sense! In fact, here's how I imagine the trial going down in my head:


Awesome Jeff Hardy Lawyer: Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!

Asshole State Prosecutor: Damn it!... He's using the Chewbacca defense!

Awesome Jeff Hardy Lawyer: Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a world renowned Professional Wrestling superstar, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.


And then the Judge lets him off. Cause, I mean, really. IT DOES NOT. MAKE. SENSE.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Lend me some Sugah! I am yo' neighbor!





Ashlee and I were JUST talking about this last night.

According to f4wonline, Gregory Helms' 90-day no-compete is up sometime this month. And, as many have suspected, he already has a verbal agreement through Jeff Hardy with TNA. Word has it he'll just go by his WCW moniker, Shane Helms, and there's apparently been talk of a stable with he, Jeff, Shannon Moore, and Jesse Neal.

You know, I don't even care that TNA's roster is already overloaded with people. Sugar Shane is my boy. I've been waiting for years to see him and Shannon team up again, and it might finally happen!

I... I think I just squealed.

Monday, May 10, 2010

So the PG rating is just overcompensation, eh?

This story is an interesting one. According to a man with very good taste by the pen name Michael Bluth on Rajah, a top WWE official has been suspended after allegations of sexual harassment during the Wrestlemania weekend in Phoenix. Executive Vice President (how many of THOSE are there?) Jared Bartie had allegedly been drinking during the Mania festivities, and "inappropriately" hit on a female employee in WWE's sales department.

Here's where the story gets awesome: the same woman who was allegedly the victim in the Mania weekend case was, herself, fired a few weeks later after having been seen performing a "sex act*" on another WWE employee while on company property during business hours.



Pictured: Also inappropriate conduct on company property.


I'm torn between feeling bad for this girl, and thinking she's probably just some little harlot who got propositioned by one of the higher-ups and got dollar signs in her eyes. I guess we'll never know... that is, unless Michael Bluth can send Mrs. Featherbottom in on an undercover operation.

*"Sex act?" WTF is that? This is the internet, can't we get some details? Was it a handski? Mouth sex? Footski? Cleveland Steamer? Moss-Covered Three-Handled Family Credenza? Inquiring minds want to know!

As If We Haven't Already Cena Nuff





Just when you thought it was safe to go out on Twitter... WWE Golden Boy and Patron Saint of Goody Two-Shoes John Cena has joined the social networking site. And just what does this bastion of knowledge have to tell us in his all-important first post to his adoring public, his unfiltered, unbridled coming-out-party to the world?



"In pittsburg for raw". This grown-ass, half-educated, face of a global media conglomerate can't be bothered to spell Pittsburgh properly, capitalize proper nouns, or even use a period. If we want to be technical, "In pittsburg for raw" is only a sentence fragment. This is the face of the company? This is the image we want to push on our children and screaming fangirls?!

We're all doomed.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Fate Is a Cruel Biotch



The Next Big Thing?


Brett DiBiase, son of legendary hall of famer blah blah blah (seriously, do I need to explain who he is? How many DiBiases do you know in real life?), felt the wrath of a knee injury last week at an FCW taping in a match with fellow son of a legend Joe Hennig.

The twist? Both men were scheduled to be called up to the Raw roster to join Ted DiBiase Jr. as a heel trio. Because the "we're a heel group of sons of legends" story sure hasn't been played out over the last couple years or anything.

Here's hoping for a speedy recovery for Brett.

Finally Some Good News From the TNA Camp





In an update to our February story on the Motor City Machineguns and Beer Money Inc getting their dual DVD set, details have finally emerged on the release. Beer Money narrowly edged out the Guns in an online poll a few weeks ago regarding which team fans would rather see on the cover, so TNA decided to give it a dual cover. =The two-disc set will feature 12 matches plus interviews on each team. The better news: it's set for a May 25 release.

I'm not usually a huge consumer on wrestling DVDs, but this is a must-have. And if they don't use it to tie into a huge feud between the two teams, I riot.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The Latest on TNA Tucking Tail



If you haven't heard by now, TNA wised up and got knocked off their high horse, and will be returning to Thursday nights next week. Here's the scoop.

Spike TV will be airing TNA Reaction as the lead-in for iMPACT every Thursday night. Reaction will air at 8PM EST each week while iMPACT will return to it's 9PM EST time slot. The pilot for Reaction aired a few weeks ago on a Monday night before iMPACT and featured a "backstage look" at TNA.

The crew was told that TNA made the decision to move back to Thursdays, not Spike TV officials. While TNA officials handled most of the meeting, there was a Spike TV official there to confirm the information.

TNA as well as Eric Bischoff & Jason Hervey's production team conducted most of the recent market research and were told that fans overwhelmingly wanted Thursday to be established as TNA's night.

With the weekly addition of TNA Reaction at 8pm EST, Spike TV will be branding Thursday nights as "TNA Thursdays."

Word is that all future episodes of TNA iMPACT will be taped with the move back to Thursday nights. There are currently no plans to do live shows on Thursdays. TNA and Spike TV are going to be pushing Thursdays as TNA's night on TV. Live specials on Monday nights are a possibility but won't be happening for a while.

Christian Bumped from Fatal 4 Way Poster



That's the new poster for Fatal 4 Way. The old one had Christian on it... and I liked it. I think I like this one better.

Okay, that's all. Move along.

KABOOM!





These Mickie James Fans are SERIOUS!

The Connecticut Post reports that WWE fan Zavr Peygumbari, of Brooklyn, New York, was arrested last week after he called WWE headquarters over twenty times with threats to blow up the company's office and harm staff members. Zavr was upset that WWE released former Women's Champion Mickie James.

Zavr was arrested last Friday and arraigned yesterday at state Superior Court in Stamford, CT. Zavr's next court date will be on May 25th. He was originally held over the weekend in Stamford on a $250,000 bond but released on a $5,000 bond Monday. His lawyer describes him as a "fervent wrestling fan" who did not intend to follow through on his threats. Court records show that New York City police know Zavr as being emotionally disturbed.

During his arraignment on Monday, the angry WWE fan apologized for the phone calls and called them foolish & childish. Zavr allegedly threatened to blow up WWE's offices and said he would visit the building with a machete and a machine gun. The phone calls began on April 24th and continued through April 27th. Nineteen calls were made by Zavr on April 24th with a handful of calls made over the next few days. During one call, Zavr threatened to kill an un-named WWE employee and his family. The phone calls were traced back to a cell phone that Zavr had.

Zavr has been charged with four counts of fourth-degree threatening, one count of second-degree harassment and two counts of second-degree threatening.

The judge told Zavr on Monday that he could not contact WWE employees, go near it's offices in Stamford or attend any events. Zavr's actual response to this in front of the courtroom: "I'm not allowed to go to wrestling shows?"

THIS is AMAZING



An elderly female fan was escorted out of the WWE SmackDown live event in Knoxville, TN this weekend after slapping CM Punk. The woman walked up to Punk, told him he wasn't Jesus and smacked him hard, according to a fan in attendance. Punk smiled at her, told her he forgave her and dropped to one knee while security took her away.

He didn't even BREAK KAYFABE! How awesome is this old lady? More over, how awesome is CM PUNK!? Holy cow! I... this is amazing. Nothing else needs to be said.

Hardy Faces 14 Years in Prison



After several rounds of hearings and delays, Jeff Hardy's trial stemming from his drug arrest last year is set to begin next Monday (5/10) in Moore County, North Carolina. Hardy’s drug charges went to a grand jury back in January and they found that there was enough evidence to indict Hardy and send the case to Superior Court.

Hardy was arrested on September 11th, 2009 after police raided his home in Cameron, North Carolina. A joint investigation conducted by officers with the Moore County Sheriff’s Office narcotics and select enforcement units and the Fayetteville Police Department led to the search.

According to the police report, a search of his residence yielded 262 Vicodin prescription pills, 180 Soma prescription pills, 555 milliliters of anabolic steroids, a residual amount of powder cocaine and items of drug paraphernalia.

He was charged with felony trafficking in opium, two counts of felony possession with intent to sell or deliver a Schedule III controlled substance, felony maintaining a dwelling to keep controlled substance, felony possession of cocaine and misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia.

If convicted of all charges, Hardy faces upto 14 years in prison. Which in retrospect isn't nearly as bad as jobbing to Hogan and Flair in TNA. *shrug*

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Bye Bye Bubba

I'm posting from my phone, because this was too good to wait till I got home. According to TNA's account on facebook, they have terminated the services of the subhuman slug known as Bubba The Love Sponge. And I think I speak for all of America when I say...

ABOUT GOD DAMN TIME!

This guy is a cancer on the entertainment industry, and I will look forward to not having to be scared of seeing his dumb face on Impact anymore.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Another Bout of Spring Cleaning

More surprisingly than Jimmy Wang Yang and Grand Master J, WWE just recently announced that it has come to terms with the release of Mike Knox from his contract. One of the most agile, speedy big guys in the whole company, and they had nothin' for him.

Shoulda dropped the beard when they asked you to.

Off With Her Head!





A word of warning to those young ladies in the WWE Universe -- don't even think about having dreams and aspirations beyond WWE, or your ass is grass.

Mickie James, one of the most over babyfaces on the entire roster (not just in the women's division), was future endeavored today along with a handful of other roster cuts. No official reason has been given by WWE, though there are reports that she had been semi-disruptive on the recent European tour, showing up late for travel and so on. Plus, WWE has made no bones about their "problem" with her weight, even turning it into one of the most disgusting angles in history ("Piggy James" - and we wonder why girls in this country think they're fat when they don't look anorexic). But you have to think that it can't be coincidence that both she and Maria (also one of the most popular ladies on the roster) were released just before their secular-to-the-WWE-Universe albums dropped.

Also receiving their pink slips today were Shelton Benjamin (cause God forbid we actually GIVE him a storyline and let him run with it for more than 2 weeks), Katie Lea (who's been a sitting duck ever since Burchill was released), and perennial Smackdown J.O.B. Squad Kung Fu Naki, Jimmy Wang Yang, and Slam Master J (aka Jesse from Jesse and Festus fame).

Yet, inexplicably, Kelly Kelly still has a job.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

We Admit, It Was Bad.

The WWE has decided to offer full ticket refunds for those fans unlucky enough to attend the WWE Raw program that aired last night on USA. As previously reported, 90% of the Raw roster has been grounded on the other side of the world due to multiple Volcano eruptions that took place in close proximity. Anyone who watched the show noticed that the majority of the people on television were Smackdown superstars. Most of the show was mindless filler in order to take up the 2 hour time block.

I wonder if the WWE will refund me the time I spent to watch that crap.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Smackdown "INVADING" Raw Tonight.

WWE has been pretty forthcoming about the travel issues they're having. Confirming their Smackdown Raw Show tonight.

"With the volcanic eruption in Europe stranding the majority of the Raw roster, WWE's flagship show is going blue. Even as the cast of the film MacGruber takes the reins as special guest hosts for the potentially cataclysmic show in East Rutherford, N.J., Triple H prepares to share the ring with several top Smackdown Superstars."

Although Raw is trapped in Belfast, Ireland, the SmackDown Superstars were able to arrive in Newark by charter early this morning, after traveling through the night by bus to get to a place where they could take off.

Can the cast of MacGruber control the molten-hot situation that could erupt on Raw? Find out tonight at 9/ 8 CT only on USA Network."

No Heat on Waltman




There seems to be conflicting reports about why Sean Waltman was absent from TNA Lockdown. He also no-showed the fan access event on Saturday.

Report 1: He just wanted to stick it to TNA and didn't bother to show up.

Report 2: (The one I believe.) Sean Waltman did not appear at the TNA Lockdown pay-per-view due to personal reasons. James Caldwell of PWTorch.com reports that Waltman gave TNA management advance notice that he would not be at the show, and the feeling backstage was that he had not been cleared by the Missouri state athletic commission.
Waltman worked an indy date on Saturday night and was reportedly telling people he would not appear at Lockdown. The Torch story notes that there is no heat on Waltman for missing the show, and that he is expected to appear at the TNA Impact tapings today.

There you have it, and there you are.

Believe Me Man, She's Worth It



Christy Hemme has re-signed with TNA Wrestling. Regarding specifics of her contract, the official website of The Honky Tonk Man is reporting that Hemme inked a three-year deal with TNA worth $175,000 per year. The website also notes that Hemme's new contract has left some of her fellow female co-workers noticeably upset.

Hemme's deal is being compared to Awesome Kong's as the recently released Knockout was receiving $400 per appearance from TNA. Reportedly, Kong's inability to attain a slight raise in salary was her main point of contention with TNA, which led to her ultimately departing from the organization.

By comparison, PWInsider reports Generation ME makes $175 per appearance and TNA Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne makes just over $200 per appearance.

I Can Has Your Movie?!



Triple H is currently filming his first WWE Productions movie, "Killing Karma" in New Orleans. The same place where Randy Orton is filming his movie. New Orleans is looking to boost revenue after 2005's Hurricane - and has passed laws offering massive tax breaks to companies who film their movies in the city. WWE has plans to shoot over 13 movies there in the next three years.

"Killing Karma" is about "a man who, after being released from prison, is determined to live a quiet - and legal - life. Then, his best friend approaches with an offer for one last score." It is interesting to note that up until today, wrestling sites and IMDB had been reporting that Batista was the star of this film.

Well, I'd Like to Update You But...



...nothing is going on in the world of WWE because all of the Raw superstars are stuck in England.

Tonight's WWE RAW from East Rutherford, New Jersey is expected to feature mostly SmackDown superstars. Most of the RAW crew is stuck in Europe due to travel restrictions stemming from last week's Iceland volcano eruption.

The superstars stuck in Europe include John Cena, Batista, Randy Orton, Bret Hart, Miz, Big Show Sheamus, Mark Henry, Ted DiBiase, Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, MVP, Chris Masters, Chavo Guerrero and Hornswoggle. Eve Torres, Maryse and Kelly Kelly are among the Divas who also likely won't be at RAW tonight.

As of about an hour ago, UK Authorities extended the ban on flights to Tuesday Morning - at this point, there is fear that the Raw brand may not make it back in time for the Extreme Rules PPV on Sunday.

Friday, April 16, 2010

No Guest Host for Draft Day.

AKA: Randy Orton Goes to Smackdown.

According to an article posted on PW Torch, the WWE has made the decision to not have a guest host on the April 26th edition of Raw that follows the Extreme Rules PPV. This Monday night show will feature the annual WWE Draft that typically takes place a month or so after Wrestlemania. This would be the first show that the WWE has ever run without a guest host since the inception of the idea in June of 2009.

Not going to complain. The WWE Draft show is typically pretty entertaining, so I'm glad they didn't decide to muck it up by having some dipstick with a book or a movie to sell show up and produce bad segments in the middle of the program. Though, at least with the rumored storyline involving The Rock that is supposedly set to last from the beginning of June all the way up to Summerslam, we'll at least have something to keep our attention away from some imbecile like Verne Troyer hocking their crap on my TV.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

It's All About the Game and How You Play It

Yep, the similarities are uncanny.

According to an ESPN opinion article written by ESPN writer Jemele Hill, Tiger Woods has what it takes to become the ultimate heel of the golf course.

"Tiger Woods should curse enough to make Redd Foxx blush. He should put a Perkins restaurant sticker on his bag. He should throw his clubs like a javelin whenever he misses an easy putt. He should text message in-between shots. If a reporter asks about his emotional state, Tiger should channel Bobby Knight and make a bunch of ridiculously juvenile faces."

What does this have to do with wrestling you ask? Hill further explains.

"Tiger should become a bad guy. He should be golf's version of the WWE's Triple H."

Hill goes on to explain that casting Tiger Woods as a heel type character in golf would further add edge to his budding rivalry with Phil Mickelson. You can read the full ESPN article here.

I promised myself I would be done making jokes about Tiger Wood's adultery issues, but man if they casted Woods as a Triple H like heel, I'd watch golf just to see him inevitably perform a Pedigree on his Caddy.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Smackdown Going to SyFy



According to reports written in the Los Angeles Times, SyFy has shelled out an estimated $30,000,000 to the WWE to successfully rope in the Smackdown brand for the SyFy network.
That would make the SyFy network the channel to go to in order to view both the new NXT program and the Smackdown brand. One can only assume that this news spells the imminent doom for MyNetwork TV, which previously had Smackdown on its lineup, the only large ratings draw for the channel.

Another One For The Good Guys





So you remember how Eric Bischoff was cocking off about his book a few weeks ago, and how it was still making him thousands of dollars in royalties? So WWE decided to drop the price to $1.98? Bischoff strikes back. Via Facebook:

Just received 1,000 copies of Controversy Creates Cash from WWE! $1.98 AND THEY PAID SHIPPING! That is frigging awesome. I'm going to autograph the first 100 sell for 20.00 with preceeds going to support the Upper Banch Mine Fund that TNA raised money for. Details to follow in the next day or two. Spread the word!


You know what? Good for him, and good for TNA for doing so much to help the unfortunate victims of last week's West Virginia mining accident. They also held some house shows this weekend with proceeds going to the same cause. According to Jeff Jarrett's twitter, they had a largely successful turnout for those shows. And Kurt Angle himself even offered to match the donations made at Saturday's show in Corbin, KY.

Say what you will about TNA's product, but from all outward appearances (which, I know, can be deceiving), they seem to be a nice little close-knit family who support each other, their company, their industry, and the world around them. That's the kind of people I cheer on.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Goldberg is "open" to wrestling at Mania next year





In an interview with ESPN.com, former WCW monster and Bret Hart career-killer Bill Goldberg said he'd be "open" to wrestling one final match at Wrestlemania next year, when the Grandaddy emanates from WCW-hotbed Atlanta, GA.

"It's not something that I'm seeking out to do at 43 years old. But you know, WrestleMania is next year in Atlanta. Hulk Hogan and I put 43,000 people in the Georgia Dome with three days notice. I've got a fairly big following in Atlanta. Is it out of the realm of possibility? I'd say no."

Listen, Goldberg is "open" to wrestling one last match at Wrestlemania the same way I'm "open" to jumping on stage and playing guitar for Alter Bridge. Cut the foreplay, Bill. You want to ask... call up Vince and ask.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

TNA Tries Using T&A

Is it even a competition anymore?

Here's my rant for the week.

When Vince McMahon first accused the TNA product of being "tawdry and bloodsoaked action", I laughed. I laughed because this was the same McMahon that put his corporate stamp of approval on such creative masterpieces as Mae Young giving birth to a prosthetic hand and the Katie Vick storyline. I laughed because it was only in the last couple of years that the WWE product has made a format change to appeal to the younger, PG audience. I also laughed because I never considered TNA's product to be tawdry in the slightest. Confusing? Absolutely. Full of holes? You bet. Spotlights on the wrong people? For sure. I never once thought of TNA's shows to be trashy.

That was, until last night.

In the desperate ploy for a ratings jump, the injured and limping TNA iMPACT! program produced the biggest pile of balls that professional wrestling / sports entertainment has seen in years. Yes, it was worse than the Jerry Springer Guest Host edition of Raw. Believe me.

Between Jeff Hardy meaning ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, Orlando Jordan's Lady Gaga gimmick ripoff, and quite possibly the trashiest segment I had the displeasure of watching, the TNA Knockout's Title Belt In a Box... thing, I was ready to stab my eyes out with an icepick. That was, until I realized there was a better show on the USA network. I'm not even going to go into the nitty gritty details, but when you have a segment where a TNA Knockout is forced to take their clothes off because one of the boxes tells them to do it? You're tawdry. When your Women's Championship belt changes hands because someone opened a box on a gameshow? You're tawdry. When you resort to lowbrow gameshow crap to increase your ratings instead of actually showcasing the people you spent TOP DOLLAR for, you're not only tawdry, you're stupid.

Here's the best part: Their ridiculous attempt to draw more viewers to the show by flaunting Knockout Boobies did NOTHING FOR THEIR RATINGS. TNA drew the average ho-hum 0.9 that they always have, except for the post-Wrestlemania week when they drew a 0.6.

This is what makes me so mad. TNA, I WANT YOU TO BE SUCCESSFUL. We want competition! I wish you would put a superior product out, because it would force everyone else to step up their game! But when you actually allow your cameras to record the garbage that you put together last night, you're tawdry.

And you're doomed for failure.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Randy Orton Thinks Ken Anderson is "Not Very Good."



There was some story today about Randy Orton's movie, and how much fun they're having making it look like the 60s. It has a 5 Million Dollar budged...blah, blah, blah... this story is better. So I'm going to tell this one.

At Wrestlemania 26 Fan Access festivities, Randy did a question and answer session with fans. One young fan asked him who his favorite wrestler was, and someone else in the crowd yelled out "Kennedy". Randy, who seems like something of a comedic timing expert, paused - delivered the above look on his face and said. "That guy is dangerous." He paused for comedic purposes and then "...and not very good either." As if that wasn't enough, he completely digressed and said, (paraphrasing, because I can't watch the video again right now.) "I turned on that show with the ten sided ring or whatever it is. If you're going to go to the other show, the least you can do is change your gimmick. When I saw him do this thing..." Randy then proceeded to mimmick the Kennedy microphone grab. "...I mean I've seen that before. WHAT IS THAT?!"

It was a fantastic 18 minutes, and I think even the casual Orton fan will like it. He talks about his daughter, his favorite matches, his first title win, and why Stephanie McMahon is awesome. Watch it! :)



Undertaker and HBK Wanted JR for WM26.



By Brian Cantor
F4WOnline.com reports that in the lead-up to their WrestleMania 26 match, both Shawn Michaels and Undertaker requested that Jim Ross be allowed to commentate their main-event bout.

There has been at least prior instance in which a request from main-event wrestlers led to Jim Ross regaining the helm of the commentary booth (Steve Austin and The Rock pushed for Ross as a commentator in 2001), but the campaign from Michaels and Undertaker was unsuccessful this time. WWE Chairman Vince McMahon, who made the call to keep Ross off the show, was unconvinced by the wrestlers and creative team and remained firm in his decision.

While the decision to keep Ross off the show was made several weeks ago, there were still many who hoped Vince McMahon would change his mind come game time. The issue of adding Ross to the main-event panel came up one final time during WrestleMania week, but McMahon shot it down, arguing that the company could not live in the past and that because Ross was not going to be returning as a full-time commentator, the WM26 slot should not be taken away from regulars Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and Matt Striker.

Sources say that wrestler and employee interactions with Ross during WM week were uncomfortable, since it was visibly clear that JR was hurt by his omission from the card. He nonetheless conveyed positive spirits in a recent blog post, demonstrating optimism that his role going forward will be productive.

TNA Releases Daniels



If you need any further proof that Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff want to destroy every shred of original TNA that there is (save AJ Styles) TNA has released Christopher Daniels.

Almost immediately Daniels contacted ROH, and returned at their most recent PPV. This is a sad day for TNA - and I don't even think they realize it.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

RIP (for real) Chris Kanyon



RIP Chris "Kanyon" Klucsaritis
January 4, 1970 – April 2, 2010



Chris Klucsaritis, known by his in-ring names Chris Kanyon, and (earlier in his WCW career) masked as Mortis, was found dead Friday night in his Queens apartment, apparently of a drug-induced suicide. He was found with a pill bottle and several notes around his body.

Kanyon, who had been battling bipolar disorder, had threatened suicide many times in the past according to some of his friends, and reached out as recently as last Monday, saying he was battling another bout of depression and feeling suicidal.

Even though Kanyon had turned into something of a walking joke following his in-ring career, there's absolutely nothing funny about this. Depression is a vicious cycle, and in cases like this, a deadly one. If you or anyone you know is battling depression, bipolar disorder, or anything of the sort, I urge you to take notice and take it seriously. Hopeline is ready and waiting for your call, 24/7, at 1-800-SUICIDE or http://www.hopeline.com.

On a personal note... being a huge WCW mark during his heyday, I always fully enjoyed his "WHO BETTA DAN KANYON?" schtick. He (kayfabe) always expected the crowd to reply with "Nobody!" but we always answered with "Everybody!" and it drove him nuts. I always wondered if that was somehow planted, or if the fans just figured that out on their own. And though they were typically crapped on by the fans, I always fully enjoyed the Mortis/Glacier feud.

Good night, sweet prince.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

RIP "Mr. McMahon"





According to the Wrestling Observer Newsletter, which is never ever wrong, the beating that "Mr. McMahon" took at the hands of the Hart family at last weekend's Wrestlemania XXVI was meant to signify the Harts' "ultimate revenge" and the end of the Mr. McMahon character.

The character, which was created in 1997 following the Montreal Screwjob, saw its most prominent role during the Stone Cold days, and experienced a resurgence around the time of the 2006 DX run, with various appearances thrown in here and there for good measure. Now after all these years, since Bret got his comeuppance and finally put a cap on the Screwjob angle for good, Mr. McMahon will be going away. The Newsletter says "McMahon is a firm believer in pushing younger acts and is not blind to the fact that he's in his 60's and the character more than ran its course." Let's just ask Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne how that "pushing the younger acts" thing is working out for them.

So this leaves a lot of unanswered questions. Will we never see Vince McMahon on television again? Will he appear simply as "the Chairman, Vince McMahon?" Did his one-night return to the broadcast table light a fire under him to return there for good (and hopefully boot Michael Cole from the flagship show once and for all)? Will Stephanie be returning to TV? Will Triple H be hanging it up and taking up the "evil boss" mantle? Should we strap in for months and months of ridiculous guest hosts who know nothing about the business but have some movie or book to shill? Is the Observer trying to pull an April Fool's joke on us?

I guess time will only tell.

Randy Orton is 30 Today



My hometown boy, Randy Orton turns 30 today. When Elaine's water broke, you think Bob thought she was just razzing him?

Randy has been a staple on our television sets for 8 years already, making his WWE debut on April 25, 2002. As previously reported, Randy recently signed a 10 year contract, for an undisclosed sum, with WWE. It goes into effect in May, meaning Randy is under contract until weeks after his 40th birthday.

He is currently in New Orleans working on his WWE Feature Film debut.

Now This is Embarassing

"What we gotta do, brother, is HIRE MORE OLD PEOPLE."

Now, the fact that Monday night's edition of WWE Raw pulled monstrous ratings was of no surprise to anyone, but get this.

TNA's iMPACT show this last Monday not only lost the ratings war to the Monday night Raw airing at the same time, but it also reeled in LESS ratings than the Saturday night 12AM Raw rerun that aired before Wrestlemania.

I'll repeat that, because it bears repeating.

That piss poor final Raw before Wrestlemania, remember that? The RERUN of that craptastic show that aired the following Saturday night at Midnight drew a 0.7 rating, higher than the 0.6 that TNA's Flagship program garnered on its prime-time slot.
That... is just embarassing.

Update on Jim Ross



Jim Ross posted the following about his negotiations with WWE on his jrsbarbq.com blog.

"JR is NOT retiring. It's tempting and financially doable but I want to work a few more years in a role that is fun and not as laden with stress as some of my previous assignments have been.

No I am not 'vanishing.' LIfe is so good here in Norman and I have a tremendous amount of things to look forward to although I know that I have not broadcast my last event. One doesn't do something for over 35 years and stop cold turkey or at least I don't.

There are no issues or problems with my negotiations with WWE. The ball is in WWE's court to put together a new role for me within the company. Essentially they have decided to reassign me from weekly broadcasting and that includes the monthly PPV's to focus on other areas of the company. I am guessing, and I stress guessing, that may be some form of scouting and/or talent development. I might be wrong on that assumption but I'll know before the end of April as that is when my current extension expires."

Shannon and Jeff Want Matt to Say "So Long WWE!"



TNA stars Jeff Hardy and Shannon Moore are trying to get their brother and friend Matt Hardy to "jump ship" from WWE to TNA after the two wrote "cryptic" messages on Twitter last night.

Shannon wrote: "@MATTHARDBRAND time to jump ship brudda. Ship has set sail. Tell Ace you quit and be a Heavens Demon!!!"

Jeff then wrote the following: "Maybe my brother can join tha demons next time if he gets his shit together."

Presumably the "Ace" that Shannon was referring to is WWE's John "Johnny Ace" Laurinaitis. It's possible Jeff was talking about next time Matt can join them at the UFC Fight Night 21 show that he, Shannon and Gregory Helms attended last night. (source: lordsofpain.net)

Flair Doesn't Like The New Guy



Ric Flair confronted an on-air male companion of Orlando Jordan after the TNA iMPACT tapings this past Tuesday when several TNA wrestlers and crew members were hanging out at a local bar.

According to the report, Flair got so upset while watching the man dance at the bar, that he confronted him and cut a promo on him. Jordan’s friend was said to be very shaken by Flair’s comments, that he left the bar. The report also says that Flair was fuming over the male companion having a role with the company, and not belonging in the locker room with the rest of the wrestlers and crew members. (Source: ProWrestling.NET)

I don't think this HAS to be a "gay thing", though many are going to see it that way. Flair is VERY old school, but he's also friends with Pat Patterson who has been out in the business for years. I'm hopeful that this was more of a "paying your dues" thing, than a gay thing. This guy is on TV simply because he's in a relationship with Orlando Jordan, and not because he has any acting or wrestling talent to speak of.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

MAJOR SMACKDOWN SPOILER

For the benefit of those who don't like to be spoiled, the rest of this post will be written in black text. Hopefully you didn't just find it on a google search and have it spoiled over there. If you do want to read, just click and highlight the rest of this post.


So, apparently, at last night's Smackdown taping, Jack Thwagger cashed in his Money in the Bank briefcase on a bandaged-up Chris Jericho, and found a way to defeat him. Ladies and Gentlemen, your new World Heavyweight Champion... Jack Swagger.

I have no words. Ok, I lied, I have a few. For starters.... REALLY?! Alright, I know that I've been hella critical of WWE's booking decisions in the past, at how they keep the same old tired people in the main event, etc etc. I know that I say I wish they'd push younger talent. But... Jack Swagger? Sheamus? Using the word "talent" in relation to these guys is a bit of a stretch. Especially when it comes to Swagger. He somehow finds a way to sound even more wooden and rehearsed on the mic than Chris Masters, and that's hard to do. Dude is still green as hell in the ring, a big powerhouse with a few nice moves but overall still has a looong way to go. And I don't care if it's a cheap shot - the lisp HAS to go. WWE is a multi-billion-dollar worldwide conglomerate, surely they can find a few bucks in the budget for a vocal coach. That lisp is not Vickie Guerrero "excuse me" heat, it's "well, time for a piss break" heat.

Ashlee's world title rant aside, those belts are supposed to mean something. Holding the world title, while it IS "planned out," is still a reward for your hard work and dedication to the company. It's your reward for being over with the crowd, and doing all you can to entertain the fans. Jack Swagger's the guy who hadn't won a match since the start of the year, and had been buried in Raw midcard/undercard purgatory. And once he loses the belt, I promise you this, he's going right back there. He's the guy who hasn't done a thing in months, and comes out of absolutely nowhere to win MITB and then cash in and win the title. WWE seems to have this backwards -- putting the world title on someone does not put them over. They need to BE over, chase the title, and THEN win it. Remember how emotional it was when Shawn Michaels' "boyhood dream" came true? Remember when Mrs. Foley's baby boy finally won the big one? Remember how incredible the moment was when Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit hugged in the middle of all the confetti, two best friends as World Champions to close out Wrestlemania XX? Hell, even CM Punk cashing in on Edge kicked off the "anarchy" story arc on Raw before McMahon returned. These are supposed to be the moments that mean something. Putting the title on Swagger, or Sheamus, or any of these OMG moments where a young guy wins the title out of nowhere, serves no purpose but to de-value the title. You might as well put the title on Kung Fu Naki, it doesn't mean it's going to get him over. It IS possible to use an unexpected title win to push a guy into superstardom (see the aforementioned CM Punk), but the guy has to, you know, be a little bit over beforehand. Jack Swagger is not now, nor has he ever been, a true superstar. Same thing with the Sheamus run. Swagger is just another in a long line of failed, transitional, champions.

And to think... Christian is RIGHT THERE. Over as hell. Could have easily been in the same spot Swagger is in, and it would have made some lick of sense. A Jericho-Christian-Edge 3-way feud for the title on Smackdown would have been incredible. Which brings up another point - Christian has been back in WWE for over a year, and has had, what, 1 backstage run-in with Edge? I'm all for character development, but COME ON. I'm not asking for goofy glasses and 5 second poses. I just want a chance to remember the good old days when the E in WWE actually existed.

Instead, we get Jack Swagger, World Heavyweight Champion. Jack Fucking Thwagger.

And people wonder why I watch TNA.

Your Raw Guest Host Next Week Is...



This guy.


...this guy.

David Otunga is apparently a pro wrestler for WWE's "NXT" show, but I wouldn't know because I haven't watched that program since its second week. I tuned in the first week expecting a true reality show, something akin to UFC's "Ultimate Fighter" where you watch the guys training and sparring and learning, and get to know who they are as real people and characters before they ever debut in their first fight. "The Ultimate Fighter" is pretty much UFC's version of Tough Enough, and that's what I was looking for out of NXT. But alas, we were given more kayfabe bullcrap. Yes, I said it, bullcrap. While I will agree that the ECW name was a bit worn out, the concept for the show was perfect. Younger talent like Jack Swagger, CM Punk, John Morrison, Sheamus, et al., had a place to debut while working with established veterans like William Regal, Goldust, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay, Christian, and the Hurricane. It gave new characters a chance to either shine or fade out (anyone remember that dude with the Rally Towel?) naturally, by their own God-given ability to get over, and move on to one of the A shows. It didn't force the young guys down our throats, it just gave them a place to debut and see what stuck and what didn't. While I would prefer just letting the new guys do the same on Raw or Smackdown, it was basically the perfect formula for creating new stars. NXT, on the other hand, takes a whole barrel of new guys and says "YOU HAVE TO CARE ABOUT THESE GUYS RIGHT NOW." It's a horrible, horrible concept and after watching the first episode out of excitement and the second one out of "is this really all this show is going to be? REALLY?," I haven't watched since.

And nobody else seems to be watching either. NXT is drawing the same ratings that ECW was (after a brief spike in the initial couple of episodes, probably from people like me who thought it was going to be worth a damn). I couldn't have picked David Otunga out of a lineup, and apparently, google image search doesn't even know he's a wrestler. He's more famous for being Jennifer Hudson's arm candy, and the GIS brought me little more than the fru-fru picture you see above. It also brought me this unintentional bit of comedy towards the bottom of page 2:





I feel the same way, Jeff.

Dixie Carter Gets Sweet Chin Music

This is embarassing.

The post-Wrestlemania fallout Raw for the WWE scored higher than average ratings this week in its third head to head battle with the fledgling TNA program that moved to Monday nights on March 9th. Raw pulled a 3.68 for the whole show, rounded up to 3.7.

The Monday, March 29th edition of TNA iMPACT scored a 0.62 rating, rounded down to a 0.6.

Ouch. Even Dixie Carter felt the sting on that one. Carter had this to say on her Twitter page.

"Thank goodness he can only retire once...hopefully. Shawn, congrats on an amazing career!"

*canned laughter*

Now, obviously the question is "How well did Shawn Michael's segment do?" HBK's emotional retirement speech that wrapped up Raw scored a 4.1 rating, significantly higher than the rest of the program. Before we all get on the TNA IS FAILING bandwagon because of this, there are several factors to consider that pulled TNA's viewers away from iMPACT and made them change the channel to Raw.

-This was the fallout show from the biggest Pay Per View offering that the WWE has. Shows that occur the night after a PPV always score higher marks. TNA didn't have a PPV event the night before iMPACT.

-The "Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels had one of the most intensely emotional, epic retirement speeches that I can ever remember. Eat your heart out, Flair. Yours didn't even come close.

-The segment in the middle of the program by Triple H who came out to talk about HBK in a very heartfelt manner, only to be hammered in the back of the head by Sheamus was a BRILLIANT move by the WWE. It kept viewers on the channel and at the same time drew some SERIOUS heat for the Celtic Warrior.

All in all, I'm not surprised about the ratings this week. I will be interested to see how TNA fares next Monday when they clock in an hour earlier, a la WCW. This week, TNA didn't stance a snowball's chance in a microwave.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Thank You Shawn!




I don't know what to say about Shawn Michaels. He's been around my whole life. I can say I will truly, truly miss him. Do I think he'll be back in some capacity? Not long term, a one night stint - maybe. I don't think he'll wrestle another match though. In a way I feel like this is Triple H's Swan Song too. We'll see what they do with him, but with another baby on the way for he and Stephanie - I don't think 2010 will be a very memorable year for The Game.

At first I wanted a huge, emotional ceremony ala Ric Flair for last night, but that last twenty minutes they gave him in the ring - just him, and his fans - was amazing. It was exactly the closure I needed. The hug between him and Triple H. It was exactly the way I wanted to see it end. I felt jilted. I didn't think it was actually over. I thought he'd go away for three months, and come back. It wasn't until Sunday night that I realized it was really, really, real. How they managed to give me my perfect goodbye in 20 minutes, I'll never know.

I hope Shawn doesn't go back on that. I hope he enjoys retirement, but I don't want him to play with my emotions. I'm going to MISS him, like he's a friend that's moving away. When the Rock left. When Austin retired. When Jericho took two years off. I didn't feel like I felt when Shawn gave that speech. As I reflected on it this morning, I thought of one simple statement. Simple, yet poignant. "I guess I have to grow up now." Triple H is the last wrestler left from my childhood. Sobering.

I didn't mean to get all depressing. Shawn had an amazing career. I love the fact that he's going to be with his family while he can still enjoy it. The speech is in 3 parts on Youtube if you missed it, or want to rewatch the whole thing. Here is the highlight video that WWE did to recap Shawn's retirement speech.

WWE Title Rant



Apparently it's news, because the WWE Title that John Cena won on Sunday Night is his 9th. This ties him with the Rock for total number of WWE Championships.

Is this news? Really? Back in the days of NWA - when the sport was real, and real men really wrestled for title belts - the number of belts was a really big deal. Ric Flair's unprecedented 16 World Titles were a big deal. Bruno Sammartino held the WWWF World Championship (the very title John Cena holds now) for seven years, eight months, and one day. THAT was a big deal. And what is the REAL record anyway? How is it determined? Let's try a jacked up history lesson.

The World Championship (Jericho's Belt - which is formally the WCW World Championship) used to be the NWA World Title. (The one Ric Flair won 10 times. In both NWA and WCW. Yes, I said ten times. Six of the changes weren't sanctioned by the NWA, and therefore do not count. Don't you feel like someone just lied to you?) Oddly enough it first belonged to a little known territory called the WWWF. (Yep, the Juggernaut known today as WWE.) Vincent J. McMahon got tired of the NWA's crap, and withdrew from the NWA. Deciding to go it alone, which in the 1960's seemed like a bad idea. Bet those people feel really stupid now.

Territory wrestling continued, and in 1988 Ted Turner bought a floundering promotion that performed well on his little cable station, and turned it into WCW. They were members of the NWA. In 1993 the NWA board refused to acknowledge Ric Rude as NWA Champion, and WCW withdrew their membership from the NWA. Except, WCW owned the belt design, and they continued to use it. The audience was none the wiser. The biggest company still being televised and having a standing membership was this little promotion you may have heard of, ECW. (Eastern Championship Wrestling. Which later became the ECW we knew and loved.) Yeah, that's right - Shane Douglas was the NWA Champion. Same belt Ric Flair, Terry Funk, Dusty Rhodes, and Ricky Steamboat held. Shane Douglas won that title by putting someone through a flaming table. Except, the NWA thought Shane Douglas was an unprofessional buffoon - and that pissed Shane and Heyman off, so they withdrew from the NWA and NEVER looked back.

From that point on, the NWA World Championship was defended in independent territories. They made a bid for WWE in the late 90s, but... you guessed it, WWE ran that storyline into the ground, and it didn't work out. In fact, a champion was never named.

Of course, in 2002 - a little show called NWA:TNA got the licensing to use the NWA World Championship as it's belt. That deal ended in 2007. The belt went back to the independent circuit and now belongs to ROH. So wrap your mind around this. The first and original wrestling championship: The NWA World Heavyweight Title, arguably the only belt that matters - because it's the FIRST and REAL belt. The one RIC FRIGGIN' FLAIR said belonged to the "REAL WORLD'S HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION", yeah it belongs to some guy named Adam Pearce. Who's Adam Pearce you ask? What? You don't know? Forget Cena, Forget Jericho - he's the REAL WORLD CHAMPION!


This guy.


The NWA belt is the real belt. Plain and simple. It changes hands about once a year (except when it was in TNA) - and not on some quarterly Orton/Cena/Batista/Triple H rotation. Does it matter that John Cena has 9 titles? (Or that Triple H has 13, etc.) Sure, it matters for WWE History I suppose.

What becomes insulting is WWE's insistence that this is some HUGE deal. Wrap your brain around that. It took Ric Flair nearly 20 years to win 10 NWA World Titles. John Cena comes in and wins 9 WWE Championships in six years - and WWE wants us to think the guy has reinvented the wheel. I'm not some independent promotion pusher, but the ROH Title is the one that is deeply rooted in wrestling culture. Don't let the WWE fool you with their sullied belt and multi time champions.

/end rant

What You Didn't See On Raw


These were happier times.


After last night's RAW in Phoenix, Edge vs. Chris Jericho for the World Heavyweight Title took place. Jericho had his ribs taped up and cut a promo on Shawn Michaels. Jericho ended up poking the referee in the eyes to get a DQ in the match.

Edge eventually hit a spear on Jericho and left. Jericho got back up and complained more which brought out Triple H. He hit a Pedigree on Jericho and then did Sweet Chin Music with some comedy in it. Triple H posed on the stage like HBK and left to end the show.

Here's the video of it. Pretty fitting, and sort of cute coming from his best friend. I know Hunter will know well enough to leave the memories alone after that.