As Much As It's Pissing Me Off...

Hi, my name is Cory, and I'm a closet Batista fan.

...I'm starting to like Dave Batista.

When the man first debuted and flanked Triple H and Ric Flair in a little known stable called Evolution, my first impression was that he was a Goldberg with a douchebag goatee.

As he started to grow as a character (Oh wait, he didn't), I still thought he was a Goldberg with a douchebag goatee.

When he finally pushed himself into main event status alongside John Cena, he was boring. He had zero personality, zero mic skills, and zero athletic compliment. He was another cookie cutter Roid-freak with absolutely no redeeming qualities. At least John Cena had the Thuganomics thing going for him. Batista had the charisma of a wet sock. Nothing changed the ENTIRE TIME HE WAS A FACE. His attempt to be the rogue face (a la Triple H) was a failure. He just came off sounding like a dick to everyone he talked to. I think it's pretty safe to say that I've disliked Batista since his debut in the WWE.

That is, until now. I'm just going to come out and say it, because it's difficult for me.

I like Batista's new heel gimmick and I enjoy his promos.

/facepalm. Okay, give me a minute because that took a lot out of me.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just the world's biggest heel mark. I loved Randy Orton's psychopathic reign of terror. I get giddy when I see the Miz come out for a promo. I totally dig Dolph Ziggler's Mr. Perfect-like attitude. Chris Jericho's esoteric rants still make me laugh out loud weeks after I hear them. I can't get enough of CM Punk's one promo that he still does REALLY WELL. If nothing more, I am an absolute fan of the charismatic heel.

So it would make sense that I immediately jump on the Batista's a Bad Guy bandwagon, right?

WRONG.

For the list of heel's that I love, there's an equally impressive list of heel's that I abhor. I cannot bear to listen to Sheamus for more than twelve seconds on the mic. I hate watching him wrestle. Big Show has been the same MONSTER THAT LOSES AT EVERY PAY PER VIEW for ten years. Abraham Washington and his laughing compatriot Tony Atlas were the biggest waste of space and time on ECW. I don't like Drew McIntyre, because every time I listen to his slow, overconfident manner of speaking, I feel like he's hitting on me. Whenever Cody Rhodes, Ted Dibiase, or Jack Swagger take a mic into their hand, it takes a herculean effort not to mute the television.

I'm pretty sure I had a point here. Oh, yeah. My point is, any old Joe can't just get on the list of Superstars that I like. Batista had to pass a rigorous set of prerequisites in order to qualify. It took him eight years, but Batista finally passed!

Now, he's no Randy Orton or anything...